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Poll: How Do You Squeeze Your Toothpaste?

While working my second job tonight, I was chatting with a table of 4 older couples, all of whom had been married at least 40 years. It came up that I’m getting married and that my invitations have not yet gone out. I mentioned that on the back of the RSVP card, I have a space for marriage advice, because I think some people have some very good ideas. For example, when you’re married, you should have two tubes of toothpaste, because there’s invariably one person who squeezes from the middle and one person who squeezes from the bottom.

Dave and I don’t even live together and he’s already mentioned that I squeeze the toothpaste WRONG. What? I don’t see directions on how to squeeze the toothpaste, so how can my method be WRONG? I’m not even going to entertain that argument, and we will have two tubes of toothpaste the second we’re married.

It turns out that of the 4 couples sitting at the table, each woman squeezes the toothpaste from the middle, and each man squeezes the toothepaste from the bottom.

So my question for you, dear reader, is: How do you squeeze the toothpaste? How does your spouse squeeze the toothpaste? Has this ever caused a disagreement?

WordPress won’t allow java, which means I can’t do a real poll…the poll will have to take place in the comments. I’ll post the results in one week. So please comment, otherwise I’ll have to share some very embarassing stories to punish you. 😯 Wait, who am I exactly trying to punish here?

| Tags: , , , 18 comments »

18 Responses to “Poll: How Do You Squeeze Your Toothpaste?”

  1. RoseAnn

    I squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom, always have. Hubby squeezes it from the middle. In 7 years it has never caused a disagreement because we either have had our own tubes or like now, we have our own bathrooms.


  2. Amy @AParkAvenuePrincess

    personally, I just squeeze it. Wherever so I can get some out. Usually the middle I guess. Until there’s hardly any left and then I try to roll it from the bottom.

    I hate when it gets like that though…So, I usually get another one way in advance.

    It’s not where you squeeze it so much that bothers me. Why do they have to scrape their tooth brush right across the top and not wipe of the gunky old toothpaste and then it’s in the cap and around the little spout…it gets sticky and icky and starts to get hard ….shiver….I can’t stand it.



  3. Eva

    From the middle! But like Amy, if I’m nearing the end of the tube, I roll it up from the bottom. I’m not married, but I lived with two guys for two years, and both of them squeezed from the bottom.


  4. jeane

    I always squeeze from the bottom. My husb squeezes from wherever he touches it first. He doesn’t care. I’m fanatic about it, always re-arranging the contents if I find it squeezed somwehere else! When it gets near the end, I extract the last little bit by putting it through a paint-tube squeezer (two little rollers cranked together).


  5. Wendy

    This is a wonderful discussion *giggles*

    I squeeze from the middle; my husband squeezes from the bottom. He is the one who rolls the tube up, and rearranges the contents (even going so far as putting one of those chunky clips on the bottom!). When it gets almost done, I’m apt to toss it and start a new one. My husband wants to use it until it is completely empty.

    We don’t argue about it. We don’t have two tubes going. We just do our thing, whatever it is and move onto the next thing.

    Now, if you want to talk about loading and unloading the dishwasher…


  6. Literary Feline

    We solved that problem because we use a toothpaste that has to be pushed from the top to get anything out. Back in the days when we did use tubed toothpaste, I was a middle squeezer much to my husband’s dismay (he got used to it, of course, but at first it annoyed him. He has a bottom squeezer. I do have to add though that even though I am a middle toothpaste tube squeezer, I do tend to then go back and squeeze from the bottom, pushing everything forward. It’s just something I started doing for some reason.


  7. raych

    I’d say we both probably squeeze from the middle, but we still have 2 tubes of toothpaste. He somehow things that ‘whitening’ toothpastes will erode his teeth, but I like the idea that my toothpaste makes my smile gleam. We also have separate snack cupboards, and no one is allowed to eat out of the other person’s cupboard. If you eat all your chips before we go shopping again, tough nuts for you. Two of everything, man. It’s the way to go.


  8. brideofthebookgod

    I squeeze from the middle until the toothpaste starts to run out then I guiltily start squeezing from the bottom; the Book God has confirmed that he squeezes from the bottom, and added that, as any fule kno, men always squeeze from the bottom, and women don’t; that’s me told, then! Incidentally we have separate tubes of toothpaste but only because we like different brands.


  9. jenefur

    We DO have our own toothpaste! He’s a middle squeezer, I’m a bottom.


  10. Katherine

    What an odd poll! But I’ll bite. The way I squeeze my toothpaste is oddd. I begin sqeezing from the bottom, when the tube is new; but when its about 1/4 empty, I squeeze from the middle. Then I forget and go back to squeezing from the bottom. Hey I can do that; I live alone!


  11. Maw Books

    We both squeeze from the middle. I actually don’t think we have ever discusses our toothbrush habits so it’s not a big deal. The toilet paper and which it hangs though, is a whole other problem!


  12. Lezlie

    I squeeze from the bottom. I’m not sure how hubby does it. Not only do we have separate toothpaste, we have separate bathrooms, so I never see it. 🙂



  13. lisamm

    I’m a middle squeezer, he’s a middle squeezer too, and neither one of us cares much about how it’s done. We now have separate bathrooms and tubes of toothpaste, so it doesn’t matter anyway. I bet you’ll come up with way more important things to fight about once you’re married!!


  14. janelle

    From the bottom, but I tend to be a bit anal about stuff like that….i usually flatten it as it empties and turn the bottom up so I can just keep sqeezing from the bottom.

    On a side note, have you read The Way the Crow Flies?


  15. Jessica

    Wow! I never realized this was such a universal issue. I squeeze from the middle; my husband squeezes from the bottom. He occasionally comments on my inability to squeeze “correctly.” I occasionally come back with a comment about his inability to wash the dishes “correctly.”


  16. bkclubcare

    too funny! We each have our own preference in brand, so… not an issue.


  17. Darcie

    I squeeze the tooth paste from the bottom. My husband sqeezes from the middle. We do have 2 tubes of toothpaste! But it is because he leaves toothpaste in the top which gets hard and crusty and goopy…yuck!

    His big hang up is kitchen pans…yes I never would have believed it had I not witnessed it, but he is very possesive of his pans. I first noticed this when he came home and I would be cooking dinner and he would get mad about stupid things…the one common denominator was I was cooking and in his opinion I was not using the pans right. He has since bought me 3 pans that I am “approved” to use. He is lucky he didn’t give them to me as a gift. Here is the ironic thing – he has a second unused set of pans in storage!! LOL!! I never would have thought that his pans ment so much to him…and no he is not a chef and the pans cost less than $100 for the set!


  18. Well He TAUGHT Me! « Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin’?

    […] 19, 2008 by trish A while ago I asked people to leave a comment on how they believe a tube of toothpaste should properly be squeezed. I knew it would be an issue for me and my soon-to-be husband and declared that I would just keep […]

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