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What Are You Doing Here?

In the past, I called this type of post How Did You Get Here? I would then post the most interesting search terms that people typed in and would be as helpful/snarky as I could be. But I think the more appropriate title would be WHAT Are You Doing Here? … Read on and tell me if you don’t agree:

do you fill like doing pooh in labour – DUDE, first, learn to type what you really mean. Fill and FEEL are totally different. But since you’re here, this is one thing that I think about anytime I think about pregnancy…it scares the shit out of me, accidentally pooping while in labor. *shiver* You can bet that when I get pregnant and go into labor, you’ll be reading about that here. I have no shame.

reason to win a wii fit – erm…do you need a reason? I don’t understand the question.

how do you say dennis lehane – uhh, I think it’s den-is le-hay-n…past that, I’d recommend an English teacher.

things about myself – I dunno. You tell me. You know you. I don’t know you. I only know me.

hey lady! whatcha readin’? – wow. Someone even got the punctuation right.

does wearing cling wrap work – BWAHAHAHA!! I don’t know. Ask Kathy Bates.

hey lady – Hi!

putting music on blogs – DON’T DO IT. I’d say most people don’t like it.

trish the dish – Hehe…I like this nickname. How come no one calls me this?

is ann patchett gay – I don’t know. AND WHO CARES??

ending of gone with the wind – This is like asking for the ending of Star Wars. Even I know the ending and I never saw the movie. But I guess I’ll tell you…Rhett and Scarlett don’t end up together. Sorry.

i hate spiders scream – What do you mean? Do you mean you hate spiders when they scream, or you hate spiders so you scream? I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream!! Sorry. I guess I scream when i see spiders, too.

photos of girls pooping in public – sorry, none here. I don’t even know where to tell you to go.

review bad “wednesday sisters” – You will see NO BAD REVIEWS of The Wednesday Sisters here. I won’t even point you in the right direction.

where is “hey lady” – *waving* Hi! I’m right here. 🙂

| Tags: , 20 comments »

20 Responses to “What Are You Doing Here?”

  1. Devourer of Books

    Every month I want to do something like this, but I never have particularly interesting search terms. They’re all just things like “review 19th wife.” Evidently I’m sort of boring. I do get “what does the Bible say about devourer” every once in a while, which totally baffles me, and the occasional things that are just stupid, but not enough for a clever post like this.


  2. Ladytink_534

    Lol!!! “I don’t know. Ask Kathy Bates.”- Love Fried Green Tomatoes!

    These are great, I don’t think I’ve ever checked mine so I’m off to do that now.


  3. Joanne

    LMAO!! These are fantastic! I never get anything quite this interesting. Maybe I should drop in some choice keywords on my next post and see what pops up 🙂


  4. Meghan

    I love search terms. I don’t get too many quirky ones, but I look forward to the day my blog gets popular enough to show up in all kinds of weird searches. It does astound me to see how many different ways people can misspell “medieval”, though!


  5. softdrink

    So how proud are you that you got two hits from pooh/poop?

    The best one I’ve had lately is “can’t stay friends rob ryan cassie.” I’m totally stumped. I’m a little proud of “Rushdie – hypocrisy” though, especially since I don’t think I used the word hypocrisy in the post.


  6. Jessica

    some people are just ridiculous!


  7. Natasha @ Maw Books

    Love these! I do these every month as well, but didn’t find the time to get August’s done, it’s still in draft mode. I get a lot of poop hits. Don’t even ask.


  8. Shana

    OMG – Trish this is hilarious. Or sad. Or maybe both, I guess. What are people thinking ?!?! The internet is a wonderful thing but sometimes it scares me.


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  10. Rebecca

    These are great! I have some pretty weird search terms come up on mine, as well…may have to save them and borrow your post idea some time!


  11. Jeane

    Those have got to be some of the strangest search terms I’ve seen in a while! What’s with all the poo ones? I don’t get some people.


  12. mellymel

    the answer to the above rob ryan cassie search is :
    she must have read the book Into the Woods, those are characters.

    anyhoo – what’s with all the poo? and believe me when you’re in labor, the last thing you care about is poo.

    and i’ll happily call you trish the dish, it’s what i call my beloved cousin who shares your name.


  13. donstuff

    Hey Trish the Dish! (much better than Dennis the Menace) Now you have two who have used this reference to you (Mellymel being the other). Maybe that can be the name of your next blog.


  14. Dawn

    Wonderful post! I really needed a pick-me-up as I looked at the clock and realized it’s 5:45 and guess who (me!) has not yet planned dinner! Hungry kids will begin gnawing on each other soon (will that string of words pop up in a future search?!)


  15. johnnyb12

    The secret lies in your SEO pack, folks.
    Whenever posting something one must always consider the 6 Degrees Of Separation rule with their SEO keywords.

    Oh, and here’s a term that saw me getting traffic:

    closer kin deeper in


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  17. Kim L

    Haha, hilarious.

    I don’t even know what to say about those search terms… what’s with your blog man? Now can you tell if any of those people actually visited your blog and for how long?


  18. Matthew

    I got a hit from “hairy nuns.” I don’t even want to know.


  19. donstuff

    Reading some earlier comments about “poo” reminds me of one of my favorite Steven Wright quotes – “Boycott shampoo, demand the real thing!”
    Anyway, my favorite search term (thus far) is “Reasons I hate my wife” – they were directed to my post on 26 Reasons I Love my wife. Odd…they seem to contrast.


  20. meg89

    Just followed the link from your wrap-up post… OMG these are funny! I’m obsessed with sitemeter (all those graphs and lists and rankings) but I never find search terms this funny popping up! Thanks for sharing so the rest of us can enjoy your quirky visitors!


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