How do I say this without sounding like I’m five and I need my mommy to cut up my meat?
I don’t think there’s a way, so I’ll just spit it out (HA! Was that a pun?): I don’t like my food to touch. There are a select few things that can touch, but I’d prefer that I make them touch, not someone else, which is why I don’t like other people to dish up my food.
Let me esplain: Rice and mashed potatoes MAY touch gravy, and in fact if the gravy’s good I want enough gravy for the rice or potatoes. But I’d prefer that everything else remain separate. Salad should not touch other food, ’cause then the salad dressing gets on the food and ICK! You will never see me spearing various kinds of food on my fork and putting it in my mouth. If anything, you’ll see me eat all my vegetables, all my starch, and then all my meat, usually in that order.
If I’m having pasta, I would just as soon have a plate for the pasta, a plate for the veggies, and a plate for bread. Because we all know that bread crumbs have NO PLACE on the plate.
I know you’re all thinking I have (or should have) those partitioned plates. Dude, food can crawl over those tiny little ridges and end up where it DOESN’T BELONG. I’ll take an extra plate to ensure I have enough room. Thanks.
Actually, not wanting my food to touch allows me to take a miniscule amount of food when I’m someplace where the food’s not that great and have a good excuse as to why my portions are so small.
Some people have commented to me on how juvenile it is, but I don’t care. I don’t want my food to touch. Is that such a big deal?
FOOD NOT TOUCHING PEOPLE, UNITE! Who’s with me?