Is This What I Signed Up For?
The other day I told Dave I really appreciate it when he makes the bed in the morning. He did it when we first got married, but he’d recently slacked off.
So today he made the bed, and I didn’t notice. So while eating dinner he said, You’re welcome for making the bed.
::blink::
::blink::
What’s up with guys needing to be patted on the head for everything they do? Hmm?**
Don’t get me wrong; I love Dave and married life is great, but I know this trait is not unique to him. So let’s laugh about it, because what else can you do? Other than point out all the things I do for him that he doesn’t thank me for, but seriously, that would take too long.
**Lest you think I’m already trashing my new husband, anything I say about him we’ve already laughed about together. We have full disclosure.
| Tags: chores, dave, Marriage 17 comments »
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Welcome to married life! My husband is always saying something along the lines of, “Hey honey, guess what I’ve been doing? Watching the kids so you can go pee by yourself.” Thanks hon. Appreciate it.
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October 24th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Our rule is whoever gets up last has to make the bed.
To answer your question, anytime a guy does something that he figures is an unnatural behavior (like raising the seat to pee, wiping his mouth while eating ribs, making the bed, vacuuming, etc.) he needs recognition that he isn’t a neanderthal (and is likely hoping this act will be remembered when he forgets to do something down the line – like buy a birthday present or some such thing).
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October 24th, 2008 at 4:14 am
It’s the other way around here. I’m the one who says “hey, honey, look, I put some stuff away!” and expect a parade in my honour
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October 24th, 2008 at 5:25 am
Yup, my hubby is the same way. In fact, every once in a while I get a reminder that I haven’t given him any unsolicited compliments for a few days and he’s feeling unappreciated.
Being used to previous boyfriends who pretty much didn’t care one way or the other, I was really taken aback by his deep need for regular reassurance when we first got together, but I’m learning. It’s kinda nice actually, when you think about the alternative. Bless their secretly insecure hearts! 
Lezlie
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October 24th, 2008 at 5:36 am
And my kids do the same thing. If I ask one to take out the trash, he’ll say “I took the trash out for you Mom.” I am trying to beat into their thick heads that it wasn’t my trash- it is our trash.
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October 24th, 2008 at 6:27 am
my husband does that stuff also. You’re welcome for getting that laundry started. Or you’re welcome for that drink I got you without being asked. LOL Now, what I find funny is that he’s always looking for recognition, but when is it my turn…? I do the dishes, make the coffee, do the laundry, vac the house, etc. But when he feeds the dog and cats or cleans that cat box…look out…I better say thank you!
) LOL
I wonder why they need this recognition.
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October 24th, 2008 at 8:06 am
My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years now and I can happily say that he does not do that anymore. He’s learned not to expect praise from me for something he should be doing anyway!
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October 24th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Oh please, no excuses needed for husband mocking. My husband made some sort of gross man-concoction for himself on MONDAY and still hasn’t washed the effing baking sheet.
I guarantee that when he does finally wash the pan, he will not only expect a thank you, but he will most likely organize a parade to honor the clean baking sheet.
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October 24th, 2008 at 9:16 am
haha! I so relate
SO relate.
my husband loves me to say thank you for EVERY single little thing too. However I know his love language is words of affirmation, but still it is sometimes hard to remember to do it!
men are a special breed, aren’t they?!
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October 24th, 2008 at 9:23 am
yep, uh huh. Let’s all laugh together.
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October 24th, 2008 at 10:02 am
yep, just his existence is thanks enough, but i enjoy the huge sigh that accompanies any “extra” help. one day he shall pay in the form of a girls spa vacation.
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October 24th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Three cheers for full disclosure! My hubby’s version of that quirk is that every now and then, he’ll do something that is normally my job around the house (like clearing off the bar in our kitchen) and then he’ll wait for me to notice. It’s supposed to be clear? Do you want a cookie?
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October 24th, 2008 at 11:13 am
I’m sure it’s a cave man trait that dates back to prehistoric times!
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October 24th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
MMMM, I like getting thank yous for the things I do around the house and I try my hardest to remember to say thank you when he does things around the house too – Once I noticed that when I do say thank you honey I appreciate ____ (whatever he did). He tends to do more around the house. I personally think the pay off (him doing more around the house) for me saying thank you was worth more then excepting him to thank me when I do things… Don’t you??? Just my thoughts.
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October 24th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
My husband of almost 10 years is the same way! I don’t think it’s going to change with the years of marriage!
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October 24th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Ha! Ask me if my husband has ever made the bed without being begged (in 26 years of marriage). The answer would be “Nope. Not once. He is a completely wild husband, not domesticated, not trainable.”
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October 25th, 2008 at 7:22 am
My husband is the same way. He and the daughter go home after work/school for about half and hour before they pick me up on the train. When I come through the door, if I don’t notice that he vacuumed or put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, he’ll ask me if I notice anything. When I finally figure it out, he’ll say “You’re welcome” before I can say anything. Or my favorite is when I’ll go upstairs, get changed, come back down, and he’ll say, “So, did you notice I made the bed today?” I think he’s so proud of himself that he’ll help with the housework because he grew up in a family where his dad didn’t help around the house and wasn’t expected to. He knew early on that doesn’t fly with me.
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