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I Just Got My Hair Crimped

**Don’t forget to enter my giveaway for a copy of The Likeness by Tana French!

Oh dear. I just went to my wonderful hairstylist to get a perm, but instead I got a crimp.

I can’t say she didn’t warn me. I’ve been wanting a perm for like three years, and she’s been firm in not offering to do it. But something happened last time I got my hair done and she broke down. Again, she warned me, but I was stubborn. What I WANTED was waves. What I GOT was a crimp. I’ve taken pictures because I think such things should be documented. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, this whole experience has me laughing at the hilarity of the whole thing, and no, I wasn’t charged for the perm. My hairstylist was horrified, while I sat there giggling at how funny I looked. First I will present you with a picture of me and my normal hair:

(I was trying on wedding dresses, which is why the look on my face is so doofy.) This is my hair if I haven’t straightened it and I’ve just let it dry. It’s not straight, it’s not curly, it’s just meh. What you can’t see from here is that my hair’s actually fairly frizzy. I DO NOT have hair that looks nice when I do nothing. And that’s what I wanted: hair I could wash, put a little mousse in, and be done. I’m feeling a little like Eve or Pandora.

Are you ready? It’s hard to take pictures of yourself, but I did my best. I present to you the proof of my horrific hairdo:

ACK! Who IS that frizzy lady?

This is the back. The crimpy crimpy back.

And finally, a close up.

Lest you think this is the worst thing I’ve ever done, it’s not. I dyed my hair black when I was a senior in high school weeks, WEEKS, before senior pictures. I wasn’t rebelling, I just thought it would look cool against my pale skin.

It didn’t.

Okay, your turn. Tell me your hair mistakes.

| Tags: , , , 26 comments »

26 Responses to “I Just Got My Hair Crimped”

  1. Christine

    In grade eight, I had my then-waist-lenth hair cut back to about the level of my ears. And no, it wasn’t styled — just cut straight across. C’Γ©tait horrible.

    [Reply]

  2. bethany canfield

    In the junior high days I had a poodle perm!

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  3. Jen Forbus

    My hair was BORN a mistake. Like you, Trish, I can’t do nothing with my hair. What God was thinking when he put this kind of hair on a person who has NO TOLERANCE for “primping”, I don’t know. Maybe he was teaching me patience. I have no idea. Anyway, in my 34 years, I’ve yet to find a style I really like and that doesn’t require much effort! And I’ve tried a lot of things. The dumbest was probably trying to make it spiky in junior high school. My hair is baby fine, poker straight and has absolutely NO natural body. I’m not at all exaggerating. So how in the world I thought I would get such hair to spike up is a mystery – but then again, junior high school is a mystery! πŸ™‚

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  4. Chris@bookarama

    Sun In. ‘Nough said.

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  5. Anna

    Oh, no! Glad you have a great attitude about the whole thing. I had the big, curled up, poofy bangs back in jr. high. That was my first big mistake there. LOL I also cut my bangs way too short once. That was awful. Back in college my roommate Serena (of Savvy Verse & Wit!) and I decided to dye our hair. I chose red. She put all the dye in one section toward the front, and I had dark purple bangs. That one was funny, though.

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  6. raych

    My hair is curlier than yours, but I ALSO can’t just throw some gel in and call it a day. I had dreadlocks when I was 19 (which were AWEsome and tiny and I would pull them back into a ponytail and leave a few short ones out in the front for ‘bangs’) and then I had to get them cut OFF because that’s what you do with dreads. There is no picking those out. ANYway, then I had super-short hair and not, like, cute-short, but like butch-short. And then it grew out and was super-cute and I had great hair for, like a month. And THEN I decided to bleach it, because it was the summer, and I wanted it white-blonde but my hair holds its color quite well (apparently) and it came out orangey (or what my campers that summer called ‘yorange’ – a combination of yellow-orange). And THEN!!! Then after that summer was over I went to get a perm (what is WITH us?) and got the tiniest curls put in that I could, because why the hell not, right? My hair was still super-short, so if I hated it it would grow out fairly soon. But ‘fairly soon’ doesn’t mean ‘right away,’ and you can’t shave OFF your poodle-head white-girl-‘fro. Needless to day, I was dumb-looking. I was also approximately 20, when you can get away with these sorts of shennanigans.

    I hope your hilarious perm relaxes into gorgeous, Little-Mermaid waves.

    [Reply]

  7. Lisa

    Well, remember Trinity’s hair in the first Matrix? I had long hair, maybe bra-strap length? And I tried to go to that. I got (no offense intended) the butch lesbian look instead.

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  8. Joanne

    My worst ever hair idea was actually the first. Until the age of 8 I had waist length, board straight, silky soft hair. My parents choice. I wanted a really punkish Cyndi Lauper cut, so I ended up with that 80’s style long on one side, super short on the other, with chunky, spiky bangs. It was great! UNTIL it started growing – rather than growing out super-straight-silky, I got super-curly-frizzy. And I’ve had it ever since. A little mousse and a hair dryer makes it ringlet-y or an hour with a straightener makes it silky, but I still regret that first style choice.

    Your permy-crimpy hair looks like it should relax into very nice waves. And I would kill for that haircolor!

    [Reply]

  9. Darlene

    Mine was when I decided to dye my hair a rich auburn color because one of my friends had. Then she decided to get hers lightened so I though yeh I don’t really like the dark anymore so I did too-Big Mistake! I came out with some copper color and my hair was falling out-I was horrified. To this day I’m always a litte leary about getting my hair colored. What us women will do for beauty hey. lol.

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  10. Ti

    Since your perm didn’t really take, I am guessing if you wash the hell out of it, it will come out within a week or so.

    The stupidest thing I ever did with my hair was put a blond streak in my bangs. My hair is normally chestnut brown so the first round of bleaching made my bangs orange…the second round made them white. WHITE…not blond. I must have damaged he follicle or something with all the chemicals because my hair in that area came in white for several months.

    I thought it was cool at the time except I had a driver’s license picture taken during that time and because I am a good driver, I had that thing renewed automatically THREE times before I finally went out to take a new pic for it.

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  11. Kim L

    Too many to count! My sister is a stylist, so she keeps my hair looking good, but back in the day, I had a number of blah shoulder length cuts. Then I grew it really long, which looked okay, but was hard to style. Now its short!

    And now that I think about it, I did perm my hair as well, but I have buried the memory because it fell out almost immediately and looked frizzy almost right away. Some hair is not meant for perms!

    [Reply]

  12. Rebecca

    OK, that’s pretty bad. Guess you should always listen to your stylist when she tells you something’s a bad idea.

    When I was in 4th grade, my mom had really short hair, that totally worked on a hip mom of 2 young daughters. I insisted on having the same haircut but ended up with a funny widow’s peak/cowlick thing happening in the front, and people mistook me for a boy from the back.

    Then in high school, I bleached my bangs, just the strips that frame my face, and dyed them blue for a week or two. Not good.

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  13. S. Krishna

    Oh dear. You weren’t kidding about the crimp!

    I cut my hair off to my chin my freshman year in college for a change – it was dreadful!

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  14. ammo

    When I was 5 my older sister wanted a pixie hair cut (boy sytle-above the ears) my mother told her not unless you can get your little sister to join you. Well she did, you see my hair was past my bottom and after the trip to the salon it was not. I cried for days (I am told…I do not remember) but I do know that since then I have NEVER had it cut past my bra line.

    Then when I was 40 some friends tried to talk me into cutting my med length hair …NO I was firm. BUT they did talk me into a color change, saying something like you need something you are 40!…not sure why, as I was blessed with Auburn hair and LOVE IT. But I gave in and I asked for some very light highlights of a golden color. Well, what I left with was blonde, gray and some white hair!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER again! – My “friend” did take me back the following day and MADE the salon fix the mistake for free πŸ˜‰

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  15. dew

    A few years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, but I was trapped with my long hair underneath my sleeping husband, which happened fairly often. I thought ARGH ENOUGH! So I went and got out the clippers and cut it off to 3/4 inch. I had no idea JUST how short 3/4 inch was.

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  16. Darby Lohrding

    Oh Boy, you got yourself a cimp!!!! Yet I know the shoe you were wearing when you wanted a perm yet your hairdresser stayed mute…………………we all seem to go down that road even if we have been there before!!!!I have like 4 hairs on my head and they are all spilt…not the hair you perm!
    Good Luck!!
    Darby
    darbyscloset at yahoo dot com

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  17. Jessica

    Oh no! I am totally a red head too! I have the SAME problem. Its not straight, its not curly, its ALWAYS frizzy, and I tend to always be displeased with it.

    When I was little, my grandma insisted that I perm my already frizzy crayola red hair. Then, after the perm, they gave me a bowl cut. Gross. Oh, and I was a fat kid. Not chubby, fat. And freckly.

    I am going to go eat a whole gallon of ice cream now.

    [Reply]

  18. Becky

    I chopped it all off in high school. And I looked AWFUL. Just AWFUL.

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  19. Dawn

    “big hair” in high school.

    “butch-ish” super-short (but flat, not stylish) when my first child was about 1 and I was tired of her pulling it.

    Mom-bob about 2 weeks ago.

    My youngest has the same hair color as you — I’ve asked colorist to “do that to me”, but they tell me I’ll go brassy πŸ™

    [Reply]

  20. Lisa Roe

    Ahahaha! This is great, because my awful do had a name! I was in 7th grade and decided my super thick, prone to cow lick hair had to get a perm. (What IS it with perms? When do they ever work?) Well, I didn’t realize how much your hair shrinks once you wrap it around a stupid, plastic, twirly thing a thousand times and in the end, we ended up with the awesome hideousness that was: Helmet Hair. My hair lifted up to my ears (longer in the back, of course!) with curly bangs, and framed my face exactly like a football helmet would.

    I did not have any boyfriends during that time. Why do you ask… πŸ™‚

    [Reply]

  21. Bookfool, aka Nancy

    Don’t think me vain, but I have really terrific hair. It was bright, natural golden blonde until I had kids (and then the sun would highlight it back to normal, annually) and it’s naturally softly curly. But, when I was a freshman in college, I wanted Amy Grant’s hair. So, I got a body wave. A body wave — even gentle — on my natural curl . . . made me look like I’d stuck my finger in a light socket. It was horrible. I had an afro for weeks. Eventually, it did loosen up and looked pretty cute, but the ends were so dry my hair started to break and I finally had to have it cut off super short. Horrors.

    And, through all that, I kept dating the guy in the other room. He never said a thing unless I prompted him. It grows. Hang in there! πŸ™‚

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  22. Natasha @ Maw Books

    Oh, I’m so sorry. As for my hair I go back and forth from short and long and back again. In high school I had super short hair (like two inches long) and liked it if I styled it. Right now, I just pull my hair back everyday. I have succumbed to the “mommy” hairdo.

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  23. caiti

    personally i think it looks kinda good… definitely not what you were asking for, but doable… the only part wrong with it is the bottom of the front.

    i’ve got some wavy, some straight, and some corkscrew hair, i have to put it in braids when it’s wet and let it sit overnight to get that crimped look πŸ˜‰

    good luck with the perm! =]

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  24. Betty Watson

    I was surfing the web looking for “crimping perm rods”. I am not talking about a crimping iron. They were plastic square perm rods you use to put in your hair for a crimped perm. I had bought them at Sally’s Beauty Supply between 1988 and 1990. I wanted some new ones because a lot of mine are broke (they break easily when you snap them together). My daughter loves this kind of perm. Anyway, that’s how I ran into your site. If you have any information on where I could get these crimping perm rods, please e-mail me.

    [Reply]

  25. Bella

    OMG, i cant imagine… my hair has always been perfect whether i take the time to primp it or not, such a dreadfull mishap would kill me.

    [Reply]

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