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Let’s Celebrate Festivus and Air Our Grievances

Since traffic at blogs seems to be less than usual (due to the holidays, I assume), I thought it would be fun to celebrate Festivus, which is kicked off with Airing of Grievances.

If you’re slow to put two and two together, let me be a little more clear:

NO ONE IS READING THIS SO YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT.

Was that clear enough?

Shucks, this season is fraught with frustrations and disappointments and ill-thought-of gifts, so what better thing to do than to air our dirty laundry? I gave thanks in November for lots of stuff, so now it’s time to get a few things off my chest.

By the way, I won’t give you the link, but if you were so inclined to GO FIND A CERTAIN POST that I guest posted at my friend’s blog *cough*lisaatbooksonthebrain*cough*, well, you’d probably find out that whatever bad gift you get this year isn’t nearly as bad as what I got last year.

NOW! For things that have driven me batty…

  • MY DOG. I know, this is like saying you hate your kid, but seriously, my first born poodle, the animal who watched more tears flow than any dog should, makes me crazy. I love him so much, but he incessantly barks when I come in until I give him attention (I’ve tried ignoring him…it doesn’t work), he’s a jerk and a bully to my other dog and cat, and he barks at Dave EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Dave re-enters the room. My dog has issues and could use a good therapist. The most recent dog trainer I took my dog to said very eloquently, “He’s a little piece of shit, isn’t he?”
  • Other drivers. I’m only thirty, and almost every time I drive, I fantasize of ramming some other driver to show them what an idiot they are.
  • It has been suggested in our family that we draw a name next year for Christmas. As if this will save us much money, seeing as how we’d be picking from a hat of FOUR PEOPLE. I can’t even go in to all of my irritations with this. But if you did want to poke around on Lisa’s blog…
  • How is it that no one knows how to count back change properly?
  • I have a co-worker who sighs as loud as she possibly can, around 10 times a day.
  • This same co-worker butts into most conversations I have with people…we share a cubicle wall, and she can’t see people, but she’ll join the conversation anyway.
  • I like this same co-workers, she just drives me batty sometimes.
  • How is it that adults don’t know the meaning of TEN ITEMS OR LESS. I’m seriously going to say something to someone when I see them do this…I just haven’t thought up something witty yet. Suggestions?

Even though I wasn’t going to be thankful for anything, since this is all about airing grievances, I can’t help but think of my friend Ann Marie, my friend in real life!, who reads my posts, comments on them, and is the only real life friend of mine who takes the time to read my blog. Which, to me, means she cares even more about me, and I love that.

All my other bloggy friends? I heart you guys, too.

Okay, enough sappiness. Your turn! Air your grievances. Like I said, no one’s reading this, so have at it.

38 comments »

38 Responses to “Let’s Celebrate Festivus and Air Our Grievances”

  1. J.

    thats not true! I read your blog everyday! I heart your blog! I think I might have to steal this from you. See, I like your blog so much that I want it on my blog!

    Things that drive me nuts right now-

    1. At this very moment- having 5 children in my home on a rainy day. Oy vey.

    2. People that forget that Hanukkah is also a legitimate holiday.

    3. People that blatantly discuss my tattoos in front of me, and I cannot do anything about it because I am with my kids.

    4. Drivers. Enough said.

    5. The freeway system in Southern California. It is ALWAYS jammed up. ALWAYS.

    6. The fact that there is no public transportation system in Southern California.

    7. Those signs that say “Jesus is the reason for the season” Really? What about the Jews people?!

    8. No one ever comments on my blog.

    9. Mean and stupid people

    10. Having to keep secrets! Its the worse!

    Phew. This was fun! Thanks Trish! Hope you are feeling better.

    [Reply]

  2. Bookfool, aka Nancy

    Happy holidays, Trish! I read your blog all the time. I just don’t always comment. So there.

    1. This house. There is not one room in this house that hasn’t had a problem. Even the hallway has been flooded. Wait, the entryway! That’s the only place we haven’t had flood, heaving, tree root damage, etc. I’m sure it’s coming.

    2. I married very badly.

    3. All three siblings on both sides have, one by one, suggested that we no longer exchange gifts . . . after several years of boring “family gifts”, uck. BORING, people!!!

    4. All my relatives are dead, with one exception (my sister) and she doesn’t like me. I cannot tell you how totally awful that is. Everyone else has at least one parent or sibling or something. And, what do you say to, “Are you going home for Christmas?” when there is nobody left? That just pisses me off. So, I found substitutes to gift this year. Man, that was fun. Sorry, I’m supposed to be complaining.

    I have to read. Wish you a Merry Christmas with your sweet pets and your little sh*t dog and your nice husband.

    [Reply]

  3. bermudaonion

    Okay, I tried to find the post on Lisa’s blog and I failed, so you need to post a link for your less astute readers. People can’t count back change because schools do a terrible job teaching math.

    [Reply]

  4. serena

    Trish, you really want my gripes?

    1. the apartment is still too damn small for all this junk and I’ve given a ton away this year.

    2. Christmas always sneaks up on me and I want some kind of forewarning.

    3. I hate when people stand in line behind you so close that you can feel them breath — or in this case cough– on your neck.

    4. not having enough time to read

    5. diagnosing my own dog’s ailments with the aid of the Internet while the vet says he cannot figure it out.

    I think that’s it for now. off to find your post. LOL

    [Reply]

  5. Chris@bookarama

    LOL! I loved that Seinfeld episode. Festivus for the Rest of Us.

    *Other drivers too. Parking lots especially. It becomes Thunderdome there: no rules, only the winner is left standing.

    * Grocery stores. Long lines and people who leave their carts in the way. And clerks who comment on my items.

    *Walmart. They treat customers like criminals. Hubby had 20 lbs of dog food in a cart and the security guard stopped him on the way out the door. He was like, you saw me go through the check out! In the meantime, a bunch of people were running out the door behind the guy.

    So when are the Feats of Strength?

    [Reply]

  6. Dawn

    Do you remember Festivus ice cream? It was the best ever! Why, oh why, did that get sent to Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor graveyard?

    People can’t count change because they don’t understand it (yes, Kathy, they haven’t been taught this basic skill). If my sandwich is 4.87 and they plug in my $10, then I hand them 7 pennnies I’m dying to get rid of … they can only hand me the 5.13 the register says I’m supposed to get back, then stare between me and the 7 pennies, trying to figure out what to do with them! (Hint: I’ll give you back the 13 cents, and you give me two dimes!)

    And that “10 items or less” business … I’m the kind of person who tells the manager it should say “10 items or fewer” (yes, I can be a be-atch that way!)

    [Reply]

  7. Ti

    Here’s my list:

    I cannot stand fair-weather friends. The ones that pretend all is well, all the freakin time and never let you into their little world. That is not a friendship to me.

    I hate that I have to repeat myself at least 10 times for my kids to listen to what I have to say. I end up being the “mean mommy” and I don’t enjoy it.

    I hate that people cannot return a common courtesy. If I decide to let you into the lane you are obviously trying to get into, then at least give me a nod or something. Just just blow through traffic as if you are God’s gift or something.

    Same goes for holding a door. If I hold a door for someone, I expect a thank you in return.

    I hate when people always arrive late for things. I get the last minute traffic jam but you know what I mean, that one person that always, always has to make an entrance.

    Okay..I feel a tad better now.

    [Reply]

  8. Heather

    OK, here’s mine. Are you ready for a little scrooge?

    I do not like gift giving. Not to worry, I don’t require gift receiving either. It is not because I am selfish. Here’s why. It stresses me out SO MUCH trying to find the perfect gift for people, most of whom I don’t know very well, some of whom I don’t even LIKE, yet I still feel this intense desire to try to impress them with my gift giving skill over the holidays because you have to give gifts. Who wants a gift because someone felt like they HAD to give it? I’d way rather skip the gifts, skip the stress, just hang out, eat a meal together, maybe play some board games, drink some wine, watch movies, etc. The gifts, to me, just add such a stressful aspect to what should otherwise be a nice, fun, family time.

    Ok I’m good now. Other than that, I don’t have a whole lot to complain about. Oh, one more thing. I’m getting sick. 🙁 And my birthday is right after Christmas so I will most likely be sick and grumpy for Christmas, my birthday, and New Years. Yay.

    [Reply]

  9. Melody

    Hey Trish! I nominate you for the Kreativ Blogger Award! Come check it out! 🙂

    [Reply]

  10. curlywurlygurly

    hmph. blog traffic is down at my page too…must be the bad weather.

    i have nothing to air…everything is peachy keen on my side of the country! ha. i actually don’t have enough energy to post a response of any value. forgive me, won’t you?

    [Reply]

  11. donstuff

    Hi Trish.
    Happy Festivus (or is it Merry Festivus?)!

    My complaints are very trival:
    1. People who complain about their dog – enough said! (donstuff sighs loudly for the 11th time, while butting into this blogging conversation).

    2. Drivers who are in front of me – The ones behind me don’t bother me because I pretend not to notice them until I cut them off and they honk their horns as if I didn’t really notice them until that moment.

    3. People who point out to me that I have 12 items in the 10 items or less line. I can count – I generally have to count back my change for the cashier, so I know I have 12 items. Don’t those people realize that those signs are suggested minimums (like speed limit signs)?

    4. My family getting mad after I’ve named a star after them or given them the (for sure) winning numbers in next year’s lottery as a gift. What do these people want from me? I don’t even spend money on my dog.

    Merry Christmas!

    [Reply]

  12. Alyce

    1. Snow days (otherwise known as no school days). The first few were ok, but my husband, kids and I have been stuck together for an entire week with two more weeks of Christmas break to go. Can you say cabin fever?

    2. My dog always decides she needs to go in and out, repeatedly, just when I sit down to lunch. Then she barks loudly to get in. This also happens to be my son’s nap time and it is the only time she ever barks to get in. Like she knows she’s supposed to be quiet.

    3. People who park in the entrance to the school parking lot, blocking not only the driveway but also the crosswalk that the kids walk through. And the school does nothing. It’s so dangerous, not to mention a pain.

    4. It’s freezing and snowing and that slows down the mail – I want my books!

    I sure hope we can opt out of the feats of strength. I’m not athletic.

    [Reply]

  13. cali

    I don’t know what this will have to do with Festivus, but I don’t like all the people who talk loudly on their cell phones when they’re out shopping. The sight of them is irritating but to have their dumb conversations invade my environment makes me cranky.

    I don’t like food Nazis like the “Eat This Don’t Eat That” guy. He thinks he’s enlightening the world but I suspect most people know there are a gazillion calories in a butter-oozing cinnabon. Buzz kill.

    I don’t like it when we’re eating out and someone (man or woman) is seated nearby who is wearing too much cologne. If I can smell it — it is too much. And, it doesn’t smell good either. Quite the contrary.

    Other than sharing the planet with other people, life is wonderful.

    Happy Festivus!

    [Reply]

  14. lisamm

    Happy Festivus, my dear!

    Oh, I have so much to complain about, it’s not even funny. Well, maybe it’s a little funny. IF you’re not me, LOL.

    I think I’ll go write my own post about it!!

    [Reply]

  15. Happy Festivus, one and all! « Books on the Brain

    […] Festivus, one and all! Posted on December 23, 2008 by lisamm My bud Trish posted about Festivus, which is kicked off with the Airing of Grievances.  She states that blog […]

  16. CB James

    Yesterday, we had to have a plumber come because the main drain pipe in our house broke and mud was seeping into the plumbing.

    The plumber had to jack-hammer out part of the basement floor only to find that the yutzes who built the place incorrectly installed the pipes leaving elbow joint that was lower than the pipe. This means water and etc. has been sitting in the elbow for the last 40 plus years rusting the pipe away.

    The end result is a 1200 dollar bill just a few days before Christmas.

    [Reply]

  17. Dreamybee

    My gripe today is about people who pretend they don’t speak English in an attempt to avoid helping you. I have a (very part-time) job that sends me into mom-and-pop stores with a clipboard, paperwork and a camera, which, fair enough, tends to freak people out. I’m really not there to do any harm though; in fact, it’s usually good for them if I’m there. Most employees will just admit that they aren’t allowed to sign anything (consent form) but today I got a middle-aged woman who pretended she couldn’t speak good enough English to help me out. She just kept telling me (very clearly!) when the owner would be back and that I could come back then and then pretending like she couldn’t understand anything I said. Even though I KNOW SHE COULD! Grrrrrr! I’ve run into enough people who genuinely don’t speak the language to know, lady.

    Thanks, Trish! I needed to get that off my chest!

    Also, maybe you could cheerfully offer to return a couple of the extraneous items to the shelf for the customer in front of you with too many items. When they look at you blankly, you could again cheerfully explain that they are in the “X-items or less” lane, and since they have X+whatever, you thought you would offer to return the extra items for them. I think the key is to keep up the so-friendly-I-might-actually-kill-you-with-kindness routine. Or you could just stew quietly in line while you use the extra time to catch up on Britney’s latest shenanigans.

    [Reply]

  18. Stephanie

    I just see the WORD Festivus and I start laughing!!

    I read you blog all the time, Trish!!

    My dog is driving me crazy now too…but since he’s about 175 lbs of love, I think I have you beat. I sure I almost killed him myself today. I was carrying the groceries in from the car. Since the wind chill was -15, I just wanted to get everything done. Since it has been so freakin’ cold, Rocko has been staying in the house. He’s about 1/2 and 1/2 as far as house dog. I mean, he is a 175 lb St. Bernard. ANYWAY, I started putting my groceries away and I realized bag was missing. Damn dog carried it downstairs, preceding to eat an entire loaf of bread…and when I came downstairs he had a stick of butter in his mouth.

    Hope you have a nice Christmas!!

    [Reply]

  19. Monica

    Fantastic post! I nearly forgot about Festivus!

    [Reply]

  20. Jen - Devourer of Books

    My grievances are mostly centered around the fact that Chicago is INSISTING on having a winter storm warning the two days before Christmas and we are supposed to fly out to see my parents in California today, damnit! We’re going to the airport 10 hours early to try to get on an earlier flight. Gross. I hope I’m taking enough books.

    [Reply]

  21. Happy Festivus « My Life in a Nutshell

    […] Trish & Lisa both posted about Festivus, which is kicked off with the Airing of Grievances.  Trish […]

  22. Jessica

    Hey, I read your blog all the time!

    My biggest grievance is drivers who keep driving through the crosswalk while I’m walking in it, even when the crosswalk sign is lit up and it’s definitely my right of way. I wish this was a minor problem, but it happens on a daily basis. Grr.

    The other one is cell phones in public. I went to the library one night, and in 20 minutes I heard no fewer than five separate ring tones. All five people proceeded to answer those calls, without getting up and doing the walk of shame outside. Another lady stood around taking calls at Kaiser yesterday, even though they have “No Cell Phones” signs posted everywhere.

    My last grievance is Christmas lights, but that rant would take way too long!

    [Reply]

  23. Marg

    Okay, I have a few grievances in common with others here. I particularly relate to the yelling at the kids ten times and then being the mean mummy!

    Oh, and my son’s friend who treats this place as if he lives here, and proceeds to be a bully the whole time he is here! Last night, my son wasn’t even here, and he came around and ask to borrow the phone and then proceeded to ring directory assistance (the expensive one, not the free one) and then made the call! I was like, if you had of asked I could have found the number for you). Why is he using my phone? Because his Dad has run out of credit!

    The ex! He rings two or three times a year to speak to his son, and it pisses me off that he can’t even make an effort to call more regularly. I don’t want anymore than that really.

    My mum – even though I know what to expect she still annoys me!

    The big one is my boss! I have been working with this man for two years, and I still can’t stand him. He is barely competent, he is disorganised and he is basically an ass!

    [Reply]

  24. Becky

    Loves this idea! Hooray for you!

    Okay, onto my pissing and moaning:

    I’m so damn tired of dealing with my in-laws during the holidays. They’re super passive aggressive, so it’s almost impossible to pick a real fight with them (and therefore maybe WORK THROUGH some of our issues) but they’re so obnoxious all the same.

    They ask for really grabby gifts from us every year (this year? dueling iPods), they refuse to commit to anything until the last possible minute and then if something changes, they reschedule on the worst possible days.

    Gah. It sounds so piddly, but they irritate me SO MUCH I COULD CRY.

    [Reply]

  25. ammo

    AHHH!! Trish, you love me! 🙂 I am happy to read your blog as they are very entertaining and gives me an insight into my good girlfriend!
    I feel special now – thanks for mentioning me in our blog now I am famous!

    [Reply]

  26. ammo

    OH!!! the counting change back one – I was in a store just yesterday – The total was 37.06 so I gave the cashier 40.10
    She looked and looked at the money, then look at me and said it is only 37.06 you gave me 40.10 with a look like I did not know what I was doing. I replied “Yes, I did” She repeated her reply again and I replied “Please just punch it in and it will work out” she finally punched in the amount and $2.04 came back. She took the 2 dollars and 4 cents and actually threw it on the counter! WOW! “Most Cashiers today can not/will not/ count back the change” – IT IS A TRUE Art Form in today’s world. Now, I worked as a cashier for many years so I can say this “Yes, customers can be rude/mean and even “Stupid” at times” But lets remember YOU (cashier) are getting paid!

    [Reply]

  27. Stefanie

    Yay for Festivus!

    My grievances:

    My dog drives me nuts. He is old and deaf and does nothing but bark and when he isn’t barking he is whining. No amount of attention seems to make a difference.

    I hate it when people find out I am vegan and then feel the need to tell me how much or how little meat they eat and what kind.

    Coworkers who wait until the last minute to ask me to help them with a project and then expect me to drop everything right then to fill their request.

    The mailman who refuses to use the sidewalk and instead always tramps through my garden and now climbs the snow bank knocking all the snow back onto the sidewalk from where I had just shoveled it.

    Thanks! I feel much better! 🙂

    [Reply]

  28. Tammy

    Thank you, thank you, Trish, for this post! I’m so damned tired of being expected to be obnoxiously happy from Thanksgiving through New Year, like all of life’s annoyances just magically disappear for more than a month straight.

    My list of stuff that really chaps my ass:

    — When people owe me lots of money, never make a sound about paying it back, and then brag about all the money they spent on unnecessary gifts they bought for every person they know (except me).

    — Having to have a different user name, password, and complete a 50 question quiz every time I want access to a website. And then being expected to change my password every time I turn around. And heaven help you if you try to use a different computer than you normally do, or the site will see it’s a different IP address and self-destruct.

    — My three levels of bosses that I have to go through to get anything approved, and every one of them wants something different, and not one wants to come right out and tell anyone what they want because it’s oh so much more fun to make you guess. And what they want is never the same even in identical circumstances. And when you go you to them for help on something they tell you to come up with what you think the answer is, you do, and then they tell you you’re wrong, but won’t tell you what the right answer is.

    [Reply]

  29. Jo

    1. The fact that even though I’m in the part of my state that is only very cold with just a few inches of snow, everywhere I’d want to go out of town requires driving over snowy mountain passes that are sporadically open.

    2. The fact that it’s been significantly colder than freezing for two weeks and I’m NEVER warm enough.

    3. My cat wants to go out but can’t when it’s this cold and he expresses his displeasure with this very loudly.

    4. That I don’t want to know the details of the Caylee Anthony case but it seems to be all that’s on CNN.

    5. That I found a recipe I’m very, very excited about but can’t make it because none of the stores in this stupid town sell the one ingredient I don’t have.

    6. The coworker who dislikes me so much that he ignores me unless I address him directly. He’ll have conversations with others about things I’d like to talk about (politics, sports, etc) but will not talk to me.

    7. Assholes who think that because they drive 4x4s with studded tires, they can pass me going over the speed limit when I’m a safe driver (who knows how to drive on snow) trying to get to work alive.

    8. The size of my power bill this month. Havne’t seen it yet, but I’m quite scared.

    9. That my insurance company cashed my check two weeks ago and got their money, yet the money hasn’t come out of my account yet, which means my balance isn’t really what the bank says it is.

    10. That Arm and Hammer made this new “natural” cat litter smell like grape bubble gum.

    [Reply]

  30. Jo

    11. The fact that I made a typo in that last post and can’t edit it out.

    [Reply]

  31. Lisa

    When my husband “helps” me look for things (the pirates snow boots) by suggesting places they could be and that I could look next. By all means, sit on your behind (you all know I’m not thinking that politely, right?) while I go look.

    There are more, this is the most recent.

    [Reply]

  32. Dreamybee

    Oh yeah, the counting back cash thing. I can do it, but whether I am in front of a register or behind it is directly related to how intelligent I am. When I am a customer and the total is $4.96 and I give the cashier $10.01, I know immediately, that I am getting a $5 bill and one nickel for change instead of 4 pennies. For some reason though, if I am the one working the register, I can’t for the life of me figure this out. Not sure what that’s all about.

    [Reply]

  33. Clare Swindlehurst

    *lol* what a brilliant idea for a post.

    My only grievance at the moment is that I’m laid up with a post-op foot and my hubby has flu – so it won’t be a fun filled crimbo for us this year 🙁

    [Reply]

  34. Megan

    When I worked as a cashier, I was admittedly confused the first time someone handed me random amounts of change in order to avoid getting back small coins. I was also 18, an English major and someone who barely passed Algebra in high school! Now I’m a serious change whiz — and usually have it all worked out in my brain when I go to hand over my own cash. I’m no longer a retail worker, praise Jesus. (That’s one Christmas miracle for you — after six years straight of working at a craft and/or bookstore, I’m finally free — and gainfully employed where I don’t have to have deal with people!)

    I share many of your grievances… especially concerning terrible drivers and annoying co-workers. I work with a woman whose voice is the serious equivalent to nails-on-a-chalkboard for me! In fact, she’s standing in the next office over right now. Arghhh.

    And speaking of “ten items or less”… I love that show on TBS! If you’ve ever worked in the service industry, it’s endlessly hilarious!

    OKAY! Sorry, this was super long! 🙂 Happy holidays, Trish!

    [Reply]

  35. Liz

    Oh Trish. This is FUNNY! Ok. Mabel does that crazy bark thing with anyone that walks by the front of the house. Seriously. Ape Sh#& until I scream for at least five minutes. I’ve tried everything. Water guns. Nose thumping (that one made me fell REALLY bad). Nothing works. I think we should email the Dog Whisperer. 🙂

    Merry Christmas to you and yours.
    Liz

    [Reply]

  36. Lezlie

    Merry Festivus, Trish! And Happy Christmas, too! 🙂
    Lezlie

    [Reply]

  37. Sandra

    LOL Great post. I hadn’t heard of Festivus but I enjoyed all the comments very much. My turn:

    The Big One: Racists, not just because they are stupid, but because they haven’t even got enough of a sense of shame about their opinions to keep their mouths shut about it.

    Major: People who act as if I’ve insulted their personal beliefs by not celebrating any of the holidays. It should not be an issue, any more than the fact that I don’t wear hats and some people do.

    Gets my goat: People who intimate or state outright that I’m lying when I say I don’t watch television (What? Never? No, never.) and I really don’t know which embarassing program, outrageous personality, mindless story, insulting commercial…etc. they’re referring to.
    And no, I don’t want them to explain all the details so I will understand which useless, completely forgettable, nothing of a quip some imaginary character said that they think is worth repeating to everyone they can buttonhole because they have nothing of substance to talk about for the reason that, as they so proudly tell people, they ” Haven’t cracked a book since I left school”.

    Minor: People who cannot follow a couple of simple rules to enter a giveaway correctly. Or those who haven’t even bothered to read the rules because when they saw the word “giveaway” they just typed something like “Enter me” and ran off to find the next free thing they could accumulate in their attempt to simulate happiness.

    Frivolous: Authors who go to the trouble of sending me nice emails about my review of their books but never think to comment right on the post so people know they’ve been there and have read the review. To the authors who have left comments-you made my whole week.

    Thank you. I feel better now.

    [Reply]

  38. callista83

    How about…

    “Oh you never learned to count eh? That’s too bad. I feel sorry for you.”

    [Reply]

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