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Cooking With, ahem, Bodily Fluids

A friend forwarded this to me, and I couldn’t help but share it with you. If the pictures are burned into my brain, then it’s only fair that they should be burned into your brain as well.

Did you know you can cook with semen?

::blink::

::blink::

Yup. True story.

natural-harvest

This cookbook, pictured above, is called Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes.

I wonder if the book calls cooks who cook with semen as come cooks. Because really, isn’t that what they are?

Excuse me for my ignorance, but the picture on the cover of the book looks like flan. Whether it is or it isn’t, there is something so wrong about picturing a jiggly, custardy dessert in a cookbook featuring semen. They couldn’t show a frothy milkshake or a healthy salad? I mean, I don’t think I’ll get into cooking with semen, but anything other than flan would have made the book just that much more appealing.

All the jokes I should be making about using semen in cooking just aren’t coming to me.

Ba-dum-dum.

The original article that was forwarded to me can be found here.

| Tags: , , 47 comments »

47 Responses to “Cooking With, ahem, Bodily Fluids”

  1. bermudaonion

    I’d like to know how many copies of that one they’ll sell. I don’t even want to think about it. Ugh!

    [Reply]

  2. Chris@bookarama

    Who? Who? Tell me, WHO?! came up with this idea. Pewey-ew-ew-ew!!!

    Of course, it would make a great bachorlette party gift…hehehe.

    [Reply]

  3. Natasha @ Maw Books

    I have totally heard of this cookbook before! Somebody else blogged about it, I wish I remembered from where. So how do they collect this to begin with? Yuck. Double yuck. Triple yuck.

    [Reply]

  4. Anysia (Booklorn on Twiiter)

    Yeah, I saw this. Self-published if I remember right. I’d almost forgotten … thanks so very much for the reminder. 😛

    [Reply]

  5. Chris@bookarama

    Oh, I got one:

    Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

    [Reply]

  6. Kristina

    That’s just disgusting lol. I wonder who buys these books because I’m not eating at their house!

    [Reply]

  7. Serena (Savvy Verse & Wit)

    EW….I have nothing else to add.

    [Reply]

  8. Shauna

    Ew. I’m not interested in sharing a meal with those people, either. Semen-based recipes? No thank you.

    [Reply]

  9. Vasilly

    That is just so gross!!!

    [Reply]

  10. avisannschild

    This is just all kinds of wrong!

    [Reply]

  11. Jena

    I posted about this book before Christmas, suggesting it would make a hot potato of a white elephant gift. I was, I think, at a bit of more loss for words: http://tinyurl.com/7euzq9

    but I did go to the lulu site to check it out–and I looked at the pictures.

    please don’t go look at the pictures. there’s an oyster-free oysters-on-the-half-shell thing. ew ew ew.

    [Reply]

  12. Jeanne

    “Blink” is just about the best response to this book that I can think of. Aside from ill-advised comments about substituting for soy sauce.

    [Reply]

  13. Stephanie

    Ewwwwwww!

    [Reply]

  14. Tammy

    Okay, I’ve just got to ask — how much does the average recipe call for? Cause you know most guys just can’t produce that much at one time, and the idea of saving up for a recipe … even more yuck than the overall idea!!

    [Reply]

  15. Maree

    So someone was just sitting around one day and suddenly thought, hey I’ve got a great idea for a cookbook????
    Ew. Ew. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ew.

    [Reply]

  16. cbJames

    This is the grossest thing I’ve heard of in some time.

    But, I can really see it selling quite well in the right sort of store in the right sort of town.

    [Reply]

  17. morninglight mama

    Oh my. Words cannot sufficiently express the horror that I am feeling in this moment. Wow.

    [Reply]

  18. Nymeth

    I’m completely speechless.

    [Reply]

  19. Chelsea

    It’s intriguing, most definitely, but far too disgusting for real life! Plus, I can only imagine how one would go about collecting the main ingredient! “Excuse me, but can I have some of your semen? I’m working on this new flan recipe”… maybe not, after all!

    [Reply]

  20. curlywurlygurly

    couldn’t a person get a disease this way? i’m throwing up in my mouth a little. urk.

    [Reply]

  21. Stephanie

    The only think I have to say about that is….gross!

    [Reply]

  22. Dreamybee

    I just watched a “No Reservations” where Anthony Bourdain was eating some kind of semen-squid or walrus or goat or something. I can’t remember, but ew. Please tell me that this isn’t the latest fad in food!!

    [Reply]

  23. Frances

    Left you a little something on my blog. Many thanks for all the great content!
    http://nonsuchbook.typepad.com/nonsuch_book/2009/01/premio-dardos-award.html

    [Reply]

  24. Staci

    my stomach is rolling!!! who comes up with this stuff and why in god’s name would you want to cook with that? and what about the shelf life? ha!!ha!!

    gross!

    [Reply]

  25. melanie

    really, there are no words. unless blech is one.

    [Reply]

  26. Nicole

    OK, I’m no expert, but, really, how long would one have to save semen in order to make anything? And how do you keep it fresh until you have enough? Maybe these are the wrong questions…

    BTW: My first “sex ed” teacher’s name was Mr. Seaman. “No relation.”…his joke, not mine.

    [Reply]

  27. Joanne

    O.M.G. Forget about the pictures! Whatever you do, don’t read the Chef’s Notes in the preview pages!

    There is one that says “Heat up a lightly oiled frying pan/skillet. Remove from heat and ejaculate directly into pan.” UGGHHHH That is so very nasty!

    [Reply]

  28. Chris@bookarama

    I didn’t think I could be shocked but Joanne you did it! What a disturbing image.

    [Reply]

  29. Elizabeth

    Who would buy that? Disgusting.

    [Reply]

  30. sassymonkey

    Ahhhhhhhhh the burning! Actually I don’t think it’s been burned into my brain, I think it’s been laser-etched.

    [Reply]

  31. nikki

    I got in to a long discussion on this book in a group on goodreads. It’s so gross. Some of the recipes specifically call for FRESH semen. Which just leaves me with the horrific thought of some man masturbating into my food.

    Ugh…..

    [Reply]

  32. S. Krishna

    EWWWWWW

    [Reply]

  33. Megan

    Wow, I feel my innocent little granola bar rumbling around in my stomach! Yikes. I guess they were just going for the shock factor on this one. But can you imagine buying it in a store? Awk-ward!

    [Reply]

  34. Monica

    EW! Why? Why? Why?
    actually…………… I don’t want to know

    [Reply]

  35. Riot

    This cropped up on digg when it was first published. It’s definately an unorthodox approach to cooking, but from what I came (HURR HURR HURR) to understand the authors and publisher intended for the book to be a very elaborate (and, you have to admit, almost strangely creative) prank. I hate to be so blunt and graphic here, but semen doesn’t exactly have one universal flavor. Cooking with it would yield vastly different results based on what exactly was…uhhhhh…”harvested.” So that flan(?) on the cover may taste saltier than the Dead Sea, or those oyster-less oysters end up far sweeter than the real thing. There’s no way this book is serious.

    [Reply]

  36. lisamm

    Ok, that just set off my gag reflex.

    I wonder- is there a reason to do this? Like- nutritional value or something? What is the point? What is the reason? It’s got to be a joke, right?

    Ick.

    [Reply]

  37. softdrink

    Weirdest. Book. Ever.
    Also most disgusting.

    And I can’t wait to see your next post on search words.

    [Reply]

  38. Teddy

    There was another blogger that posted about this awhile ago but ZI can’t remember who. I would guess that is selles a lot for gag gifts. (gag me, for sure).

    I wonder how much seman one has to collect to make a flan, for instance. Do you have to get a huge group of men or can you collect it over time in a jar. What’s the shelf life? LOL!

    [Reply]

  39. Jessica

    ew. That is just wrong.

    [Reply]

  40. Jeane

    I feel sick. That’s so disgusting. I hope it really is a prank like one of the previous commentators suggested. Who would ever think of such a thing? Excuse me while I go stick my head in the toilet to recover from the nasty thoughts.

    [Reply]

  41. Confetti Dreams

    I can’t even begin to tell you how I just lost my appetite thinking about this. What will they come up with next?

    [Reply]

  42. The Social Frog

    Wow, how did I miss this post? Ahhhh YUCK! I can’t even go there,lol.

    [Reply]

  43. Kim L

    OMG that makes me want to hurl. WHO??? In the right mind???? Would do this????

    I’m speechless.

    [Reply]

  44. Dreamybee

    Oh, this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth…

    Sorry, couldn’t help it!

    [Reply]

  45. Meghan

    I saw this somewhere else too. My response is the same as everyone’s – how disgusting!!

    [Reply]

  46. Kimberly

    OK, I know I’m way behind on reading the posts – but WHAT!??!

    Semen!! And cooking with it!! I think I need to go hurl, excuse me.

    [Reply]

  47. Cooking With Semen Cookbook ( NO f..kING LIE! )

    […] wtf? SOURCE […]

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