Cooking With, ahem, Bodily Fluids
A friend forwarded this to me, and I couldn’t help but share it with you. If the pictures are burned into my brain, then it’s only fair that they should be burned into your brain as well.
Did you know you can cook with semen?
::blink::
::blink::
Yup. True story.
This cookbook, pictured above, is called Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes.
I wonder if the book calls cooks who cook with semen as come cooks. Because really, isn’t that what they are?
Excuse me for my ignorance, but the picture on the cover of the book looks like flan. Whether it is or it isn’t, there is something so wrong about picturing a jiggly, custardy dessert in a cookbook featuring semen. They couldn’t show a frothy milkshake or a healthy salad? I mean, I don’t think I’ll get into cooking with semen, but anything other than flan would have made the book just that much more appealing.
All the jokes I should be making about using semen in cooking just aren’t coming to me.
Ba-dum-dum.
The original article that was forwarded to me can be found here.
| Tags: Books, cookbooks, cooking with semen 47 comments »
January 14th, 2009 at 8:17 am
I’d like to know how many copies of that one they’ll sell. I don’t even want to think about it. Ugh!
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January 14th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Who? Who? Tell me, WHO?! came up with this idea. Pewey-ew-ew-ew!!!
Of course, it would make a great bachorlette party gift…hehehe.
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January 14th, 2009 at 8:29 am
I have totally heard of this cookbook before! Somebody else blogged about it, I wish I remembered from where. So how do they collect this to begin with? Yuck. Double yuck. Triple yuck.
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January 14th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Yeah, I saw this. Self-published if I remember right. I’d almost forgotten … thanks so very much for the reminder.
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January 14th, 2009 at 8:44 am
Oh, I got one:
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:05 am
That’s just disgusting lol. I wonder who buys these books because I’m not eating at their house!
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:12 am
EW….I have nothing else to add.
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Ew. I’m not interested in sharing a meal with those people, either. Semen-based recipes? No thank you.
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:18 am
That is just so gross!!!
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:20 am
This is just all kinds of wrong!
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January 14th, 2009 at 11:37 am
I posted about this book before Christmas, suggesting it would make a hot potato of a white elephant gift. I was, I think, at a bit of more loss for words: http://tinyurl.com/7euzq9
but I did go to the lulu site to check it out–and I looked at the pictures.
please don’t go look at the pictures. there’s an oyster-free oysters-on-the-half-shell thing. ew ew ew.
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January 14th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
“Blink” is just about the best response to this book that I can think of. Aside from ill-advised comments about substituting for soy sauce.
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January 14th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Ewwwwwww!
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January 14th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Okay, I’ve just got to ask — how much does the average recipe call for? Cause you know most guys just can’t produce that much at one time, and the idea of saving up for a recipe … even more yuck than the overall idea!!
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January 14th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
So someone was just sitting around one day and suddenly thought, hey I’ve got a great idea for a cookbook????
Ew. Ew. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ew.
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January 14th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
This is the grossest thing I’ve heard of in some time.
But, I can really see it selling quite well in the right sort of store in the right sort of town.
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January 14th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Oh my. Words cannot sufficiently express the horror that I am feeling in this moment. Wow.
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January 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I’m completely speechless.
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January 14th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
It’s intriguing, most definitely, but far too disgusting for real life! Plus, I can only imagine how one would go about collecting the main ingredient! “Excuse me, but can I have some of your semen? I’m working on this new flan recipe”… maybe not, after all!
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January 14th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
couldn’t a person get a disease this way? i’m throwing up in my mouth a little. urk.
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January 14th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
The only think I have to say about that is….gross!
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January 14th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I just watched a “No Reservations” where Anthony Bourdain was eating some kind of semen-squid or walrus or goat or something. I can’t remember, but ew. Please tell me that this isn’t the latest fad in food!!
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January 14th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Left you a little something on my blog. Many thanks for all the great content!
http://nonsuchbook.typepad.com/nonsuch_book/2009/01/premio-dardos-award.html
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January 14th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
my stomach is rolling!!! who comes up with this stuff and why in god’s name would you want to cook with that? and what about the shelf life? ha!!ha!!
gross!
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January 14th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
really, there are no words. unless blech is one.
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January 14th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
OK, I’m no expert, but, really, how long would one have to save semen in order to make anything? And how do you keep it fresh until you have enough? Maybe these are the wrong questions…
BTW: My first “sex ed” teacher’s name was Mr. Seaman. “No relation.”…his joke, not mine.
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January 14th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
O.M.G. Forget about the pictures! Whatever you do, don’t read the Chef’s Notes in the preview pages!
There is one that says “Heat up a lightly oiled frying pan/skillet. Remove from heat and ejaculate directly into pan.” UGGHHHH That is so very nasty!
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January 14th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I didn’t think I could be shocked but Joanne you did it! What a disturbing image.
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January 15th, 2009 at 4:14 am
Who would buy that? Disgusting.
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January 15th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Ahhhhhhhhh the burning! Actually I don’t think it’s been burned into my brain, I think it’s been laser-etched.
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January 15th, 2009 at 5:57 am
I got in to a long discussion on this book in a group on goodreads. It’s so gross. Some of the recipes specifically call for FRESH semen. Which just leaves me with the horrific thought of some man masturbating into my food.
Ugh…..
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January 15th, 2009 at 6:47 am
EWWWWWW
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January 15th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Wow, I feel my innocent little granola bar rumbling around in my stomach! Yikes. I guess they were just going for the shock factor on this one. But can you imagine buying it in a store? Awk-ward!
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January 15th, 2009 at 10:47 am
EW! Why? Why? Why?
actually…………… I don’t want to know
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January 15th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
This cropped up on digg when it was first published. It’s definately an unorthodox approach to cooking, but from what I came (HURR HURR HURR) to understand the authors and publisher intended for the book to be a very elaborate (and, you have to admit, almost strangely creative) prank. I hate to be so blunt and graphic here, but semen doesn’t exactly have one universal flavor. Cooking with it would yield vastly different results based on what exactly was…uhhhhh…”harvested.” So that flan(?) on the cover may taste saltier than the Dead Sea, or those oyster-less oysters end up far sweeter than the real thing. There’s no way this book is serious.
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January 15th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Ok, that just set off my gag reflex.
I wonder- is there a reason to do this? Like- nutritional value or something? What is the point? What is the reason? It’s got to be a joke, right?
Ick.
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January 15th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Weirdest. Book. Ever.
Also most disgusting.
And I can’t wait to see your next post on search words.
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January 15th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
There was another blogger that posted about this awhile ago but ZI can’t remember who. I would guess that is selles a lot for gag gifts. (gag me, for sure).
I wonder how much seman one has to collect to make a flan, for instance. Do you have to get a huge group of men or can you collect it over time in a jar. What’s the shelf life? LOL!
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January 16th, 2009 at 10:04 am
ew. That is just wrong.
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January 16th, 2009 at 11:44 am
I feel sick. That’s so disgusting. I hope it really is a prank like one of the previous commentators suggested. Who would ever think of such a thing? Excuse me while I go stick my head in the toilet to recover from the nasty thoughts.
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January 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
I can’t even begin to tell you how I just lost my appetite thinking about this. What will they come up with next?
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January 16th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Wow, how did I miss this post? Ahhhh YUCK! I can’t even go there,lol.
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January 17th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
OMG that makes me want to hurl. WHO??? In the right mind???? Would do this????
I’m speechless.
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January 17th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Oh, this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth…
Sorry, couldn’t help it!
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January 20th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I saw this somewhere else too. My response is the same as everyone’s – how disgusting!!
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January 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 am
OK, I know I’m way behind on reading the posts – but WHAT!??!
Semen!! And cooking with it!! I think I need to go hurl, excuse me.
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May 6th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
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