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@trishheylady


currently reading

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Current books:

  • Outlander

    Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

Recent books:

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upcoming book club picks

For the face-to-face book club:


July - Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

For the online book club:


July - Skeletons at the Feast by Chris Bohjalian


book rating system

I rate books from 1 to 100. Like a test.

90-100 WOW! You must go read this book.

80-90 Pretty good. Definitely put in your TBR pile.

70-80 Meh. If you have time. No rush.

60-70 I think you get the picture now?


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cringe worthy

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What Are You Doing Here? Part 4

Part A

Part B

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

can you eat crisco raw – Heck yes! It’s even better with some brown sugar on it. Don’t ask me how I know that.

i know this much is true. i loffed it – “I loffed it”? Is this the new version of lurve? I kinda like it. Sounds very…foreign and sophisticated.

“giving a dutch oven” – *snicker* Umm, I won’t give you instructions on how to give one, nor will you find any stories about giving dutch ovens. I don’t give them because the payback I would receive would not be worth it. (Apparently, there’s a bunch of people who actually don’t know what a dutch oven is, so I’ll go ahead and tell you: it’s when you’re in bed, someone farts, and then that someone pulls the covers over your head, trapping you with their stink. Charming, huh?)

how to be a book blogger – that’s way more involved than I want to get into right now. BUT! If you want to start a book blog, you’re welcome to email me at trish(at)heylady(dot)net. I don’t bite, and I answer all my emails.

co-workers always turns on ac – I KNOW. So does mine, and I think it’s ridiculous that I’m bundled up but she’s wearing long sleeves. I mean, seriously?

granny eats granpa – There is no good answer to this.

hairless butt – Hmm. When have I ever talked about this? Oh, that’s right. NEVER.

sexy grannys.org – My eyes! My eyes are burning!

let me introduce you to my little friend – I think the phrase is, “Say hello to my leettle fren.” (Sorry, I’m horrible at writing out diction, or whatever it’s called. But I found the video clip for you!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gy-Cq75BWY

where do i poop when there is no bathroo – erm…your pants?

recipe for oreogasms – I HAVE NO IDEA BUT WOULD LOVE THE RECIPE. Oreogasms? Heck yes! Sign me up.

semen-based recipes – I can only hope you’re looking for the silly book that has recipes featuring semen. I hope I hope I hope.

can’t find internet explorer icon – sounds like a personal problem.

| Tags: , , 20 comments »

20 Responses to “What Are You Doing Here? Part 4”

  1. nat @book, line, and sinker

    urk. you get such colorful hits! on my life blog, ‘grunge’, ‘wearing men’s underwear’, and ‘cheetos’ continue to be huge draws for the crowds. don’t ask me, i’m only the blogger.

    [Reply]

  2. Michelle

    To each their own right? But, yea, there are some seriously demented people out there! LOL

    Now I need to go and look at my search terms, I suspect they are supremely boring in comparison.

    [Reply]

  3. Kristen

    LMAO! I love some of these. And of course, now you will be the #1 suggestion for other people looking for this weirdness. ::grin:: I never get such creativity bringing people to my blog. All of mine seem to be fairly direct queries that they *should* actually be able to find. Booooooring!

    [Reply]

  4. Marieke

    I love these! It’s like a really bizarre advice column. The question is, by writing about these goofy search terms, are you making it easier for more of them to find you?

    [Reply]

  5. Beth F

    OMG!!! I love these!!! Keep on posting them.

    [Reply]

  6. Jenny

    I have never heard of this dutch oven business. I was thinking of an actual Dutch oven – you know, the kind you put over a fire and cook delicious dishes in. I was thinking, Hm, a Dutch oven is a strange gift unless the happy couple is Amish.

    (Then I felt silly.)

    [Reply]

  7. Nick Ruffilo

    Trish,

    This is a hilarious idea. Do you mind if I do the same thing on my blog – I’m sure tons of traffic comes in from crazy search terms.

    This is great and your commentary is awesome.

    Have a great day!

    -Nick

    [Reply]

  8. Serena (Savvy Verse & Wit)

    LOL these search terms are hilarious.

    sexy grannys.org – My eyes! My eyes are burning! (LOL)

    [Reply]

  9. Jen - Devourer of Books

    I also hope that whomever searched for the semen recipes did so only because they want to give that book as a GAG gift.

    [Reply]

  10. Steph

    I never have such random and bizarre terms bringing people to our site… I don’t know whether I should be disappointed about that or not! ;)

    [Reply]

  11. Alita

    lol! Thanks for the laughs. I loffed it.

    [Reply]

  12. Sadako

    These all made me giggle so much. Esp. granny eats grandpa.

    [Reply]

  13. Amy @ My Friend Amy

    oh thank you for this! I truly needed the laughs!

    [Reply]

  14. Petunia

    What the Hell! 0_0

    [Reply]

  15. Park-Avenue Princess

    I couldn’t believe this when I got this in my mail today! I laughed for about 25 minutes! I have to figure out how to do this! I have google analytics, but I’m not sure…

    LOVE these!

    x0xx Amy
    Park-Avenue Princess

    [Reply]

  16. Jeane

    So funny! I always like it when you share these. Search terms that land on my site are always so boring. Lately.

    [Reply]

  17. J.T. Oldfield

    Hilarious! I should do one of these.

    Of course, now you’re going to get MORE traffic from these, since you’ve put them on your blog.

    [Reply]

  18. Lisa

    These are so funny and boy were they great conversation starters the other night when Nicole was interviewing you!

    [Reply]

  19. heidenkind

    You know you rely on the intranets too much when you google where you should go to the bathroom.

    [Reply]

  20. Alessandra

    You get very… colourful and interesting search phrases, Trish. I almost wish I did, too. But… no, not really. I’m happy that they end up at my blog after searching for The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas or something like that :)

    [Reply]

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