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Stalking is hard work.

So there’s this author I love whose name I can’t divulge because the last time I coughed his name, someone pointed him here and I wanted to die. I like to stalk my authors in secrecy and stealth, and I know that if I wanted to do that I probably shouldn’t have BLOGGED about him. Yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah. Anyway, he saw my post and sent me a funny little DM from Twitter, but I wanted to be swallowed up by the earth because that post wasn’t quite how I would have chosen to make an impression. Unfortunately, the earth wasn’t cooperating that day, so now I have to be all cryptic and stuff.

Anyway, the point of the story is that last night I read one of his blog posts that I wanted to comment on. But now I feel weird because he knows I love him but didn’t like his latest book, but I don’t want to come off as creepy, soΒ what to do?Β The problem with that is that it’s kind of hard to become unknown once you’re known. By that I mean, if I want to comment on his post, I have to leave an email address, right? And all my email addresses have Trish in the address. I realize Trish isn’t all THAT uncommon, but if I start commenting on his blog as Trish, and he just read my blog post about how I love him but don’t like his book, he’s going going to know who I am.

See, there’s this breaking point for me when I’m a fan. Either I’m a fan and I’ll gush and tell them how much I love them, or I’m such a big huge die hard fan that I pull back and don’t say anything (which is what I’m having to do with Tana French because I love her to EPIC PROPORTIONS). I guess it’s that creep factor I’m worried about. I’d hate for an author who I totally thought was awesome to think I was a weirdo (even if that’s totally true).

So I commented on this author’s blog post last night using a different name. Fine. Not hard. But then it came to the email. What email address do I use? I don’t want to use my own email address because I don’t really want this author to know who I am. But I also don’t want to be lame and make up a fake email that ends up being real, you know? I thought about opening up yet another email account, but scrapped that for being completely freakish.

Seriously.

This stalking stuff is HARD.

| Tags: 31 comments »

31 Responses to “Stalking is hard work.”

  1. Amy

    HAHAHA
    OK, sorry, couldn’t resist the laugh there. I think that you should comment as yourself, because really, if it comes out, it might be more creepy not to! Plus, he’ll have to appreciate that you are a fan, and the fact that you didn’t love his last book should be incentive to do better next time, possibly?

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    Dang. Too bad you weren’t hanging out on my shoulder last night while I tried to decide what to do. Oh, well. I guess I was going to be creepy no matter what, right? LOL

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Oh well, possibly for next time πŸ˜‰ And nothing wrong with being creepy every now and again. LOL

    [Reply]

  2. Melissa

    Oh my my. What is going on here?! You totally crack me up.
    Be you, Trish Hey Lady. Be you.

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    I’ll be me in front of my friends, but in front of people I don’t know on a friendly basis I totally blow it. LOL

    [Reply]

  3. Jen - Devourer of Books

    I don’t think it is that creepy for you to comment on his blog posts, I mean, they’re a blog. Would you think I was creepy if I wrote a long ode to you on my blog? Maybe. But would semi-normal comments on your posts make me seem creepier? Probably not, unless I was like the first comment on EVERY post you wrote like I was just blog stalking you and awaiting your every move. I’d say just put ‘Trish’ and use an email that does NOT say ‘hey lady’ in it.

    So wait, did you actually comment using a fake name? What DID you do about the email?

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    Uh, hmm, well, I, uh, I commented using a fake name and a fake email. A fake email that’s obviously fake but not obnoxious. Hrm. I think you’re right, though, that I could still comment on his blog, so long as I’m not the first there every time, which I wouldn’t be no matter how much I like him. Huh. Oh well. If I comment again I’ll use trish.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Oh, kind of like how I was your first commenter on every post for awhile? I did realize I was giving it away so had to slow down…. πŸ˜‰

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    HAHAHA!! No need to slow down on my account! πŸ˜‰

    [Reply]

    Jen - Devourer of Books Reply:

    Well, that was okay because you didn’t ALSO have a long ode to me on your blog!

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Welll….. actually in my Why I Blog post I did gush a little bit about how you were the first blog I found… heh

    [Reply]

  4. Steph

    I think you might be overthinking this! I mean, we all have people we geek out about, and it’s not as though you are sending this author personal mementos or showing up at every single one of his personal appearances. I’m sure he was flattered when you wrote your crush post, and he already knows you’re a fan, and isn’t that what authors want? People out there loving their work?

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    Yeah, my brain’s been on freaking overdrive about this. I think it’s because I’m stressed out anyway, so this is something my brain can whir on, something that’s not quite as important as the other stuff I’ve got going on.

    I usually have a really good idea of how I come across, but sometimes, I suppose because of my social anxiety, I start obsessing over it. But these comments are already helping me calm down.

    [Reply]

  5. Sandy

    I’ve not had huge interaction with authors that have stolen my heart, with the exception of one. I showed up on her radar, and she contacted me. I have since met her a couple of times, had dinner and wine with her, all the time I am trying to analyze my behavior and trying like hell not to appear creepy. You are right, it is hard. Like trying to play hard to get with the cutest guy in school who you’ve loved from afar since 2nd grade.

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    OMG I’d totally love to have lunch with him. Trying to play it cool when you like someone is hard!!

    [Reply]

  6. cbjames

    I’ve run into a few locals who know of my from my blog before meeting me. It’s a little un-nerving but it’s always turned out cool in the end. Once I posted about a book I loved, gushed over in fact, and asked at the end of the post for anyone who knew the author to tell him I wanted to to an interview with him but couldn’t locate contact information. Someone did and I got to do an interview. That was a great experience. He later sent me a copy of his new book, which I was lukewarm about. That was not so great. I’m hoping he’ll still send me copies of his books or at least send me an email when they come out.

    But, I do know how you feel and I’m not above taking on a new identity when I want my comments to be kept anonymous.

    [Reply]

  7. Jenn's Bookshelves

    This is freaking hilarious! Now I must know who this author is!
    I personally think you should have commented using your real name and email. What’s the harm? Be true to yourself!

    [Reply]

  8. Ti

    Personally, I think making up a name and fake email addy is creepier than just posting as yourself. You’ve already confessed your love so posting as yourself would be the right thing to do. I mean, what if he found out that you posted as someone else?

    I know you didn’t ask for an opinion. I’m just talking out loud. I love a lot of authors but I haven’t loved anyone enough to stalk them…yet πŸ™‚

    [Reply]

  9. Marg

    You are too funny! I probably would have posted as myself too though. He already knows that he has to watch out for you. Now the poor bloke might thing he has two stalkers he has to watch out for! He’ll be a nervous wreck before you know it!

    [Reply]

  10. Stephanie

    Oh no. LOL! Stalking IS hard! I have this thing where I feel AWFUL if I offend anybody, and every time I have an author comment on my blog, when I receive the email notifying me, I die about a thousand times while my computer takes its sweet time opening the email. I sit there going, “OMG, what did I say about their book? Do they hate me now? Am I a terrible person????” It’s enough to make a girl snatch out all her hair some days…

    [Reply]

  11. Sheila DeChantal

    Love this – you made me laugh πŸ™‚ Now I am thinking hard if I do this…. LOL

    [Reply]

  12. Lisamm

    You’re silly.

    [Reply]

  13. Rebecca @ The Book Lady's Blog

    This made me giggle, but I totally know what you mean. Sure, I talk about tossing my panties at authors, but there’s a point where I love them so much that I have to just turn off the gushing or it’s going to get weird and all fangirly, and, well, that’s just not how I roll. You’re not crazy. Keep stalking—it’s very entertaining!

    [Reply]

  14. amy

    Hahhhaha! I always get a good snort-laugh off your posts, so thanks! I would think EPIC PROPORTION(S) stalking is really, really hard and requires loads of planning. Do you have the hotel mapped out? How about time schedules? And favorite eateries???? Come on now!!!

    [Reply]

  15. Erica

    Somehow I didn’t know you were such a huge Tana French fan. are you seriously reading faithful place right now? I want to read it so badly. We may have to talk about it on Monday when you guys come to the office!

    [Reply]

  16. zibilee

    Totally love this post! I am a bit of an author stalker as well, but I am really very shy about it. I don’t think you did the wrong thing, and besides, if he finds out it’s you it’s no big deal because he knows you hold him high esteem. It’s not like you’ve said “Well he sucks, and so do his books!” I don’t think you should worry. This post made me laugh because I could see myself doing the same thing!

    [Reply]

  17. David French

    Anonymous stalking is even harder than you thought. I read what you wrote about Tana French, and I’m her father! I promise I won’t pass on to her what you said, though, so feel free to turn people on to her books…

    [Reply]

  18. Lisa

    OMG that’s too funny! It sounds like something my daughter would do!

    [Reply]

  19. Mary

    I stalk I admit it. And I’ll use the fact I stalk to my advantage. If you need help doing it let me know

    [Reply]

  20. Jessica

    I say go for – as a casual observer. But if it was me in your very nice high heels, I’d be a little more cautious. I’m guessing the mystery author would appreciate a fan who loves his work, even if she doesn’t love it all. Just my two cents. πŸ™‚

    Hope you are having a fabulous time at BEA.

    [Reply]

  21. wallace @ Coconut Library

    I know this is an older post, but it’s new to me. I am dying laughing. I’m the same way. I can be great and confident when I am around people I know, but the second I’m around (is it weird to say around when talking about stalking on the Internet?) someone I’m in awe of, I get utterly intimidated. And then i say and do things that 10 minutes later (or in some cases 10 years later), when thinking about the situation, make me want to throw up because I’m so embarrassed. I love this post!

    [Reply]

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