I didn’t think I’d have any particular goals this year, other than the ones I normally make throughout the year. My reading time is slim, so I didn’t want to make any reading goals, such as the number of books I’ll read. While I want to continue reading deliberately, I also have to realize that there’s going to be more fluff in my reading than there normally might.

So after I read this quote that I’ll paste at the bottom of this post (over at Smoothpebble), I realized that there’s been something pinging around in my brain for a while, and I took it out and decided to make it my inspiration for the year:

Harder

I want to live harder, love harder, write harder, read harder. You could replace harder with ‘be more passionate’, I suppose, but I like the feeling that harder invokes. Sometimes I take a child and hug them as hard as I can. I make a joke out of it by grunting and turning red. They love it. So instead of joking about it, I’m going to do it. I’m going to hug harder. I’m going to love my husband harder. I’m going to write harder.

And this was all inspired by this:

“Advice? I don’t have advice. Stop aspiring and start writing. If you’re writing, you’re a writer. Write like you’re a goddamn death row inmate and the governor is out of the country and there’s no chance for a pardon. Write like you’re clinging to the edge of a cliff, white knuckles, on your last breath, and you’ve got just one last thing to say, like you’re a bird flying over us and you can see everything, and please, for God’s sake, tell us something that will save us from ourselves. Take a deep breath and tell us your deepest, darkest secret, so we can wipe our brow and know that we’re not alone. Write like you have a message from the king. Or don’t. Who knows, maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to.” — Alan Watts

One of the new blogs I discovered in 2010 was MWF Seeking BFF. She didn’t end up on my best of list for 2010 because she gets her own post. I think that’s fair.

Rachel moved to Chicago recently from another city, finding herself friendless. Not that she didn’t have friends she’d left behind, but friends you leave behind when you go to a new city aren’t exactly the people you call up to do a TV marathon with on a lazy Sunday. You need new friends for that. So Rachel decided to get some new friends, and that’s what this blog is all about.

The great thing is that Rachel explores all aspects of friendship, from disappearing friends to work friends to having a famous friend. I don’t think there’s a rock she hasn’t looked under when it comes to friendship.

Not only that, but she’s put herself out there so she’d make friends. She’s gone speed friending, taken an improv class, and started a book group.

Here’s some of my favorite posts of hers:

• She paid someone to spend time with her.
• She talks about friendship chemistry.
• An ode to book clubs! With a limerick!
• A post about online friendships, which made me think of quite a few bloggers I’d love to live closer to.
• How babies change friendships (oh, boy, do I know this all too well).
• Would-be friends.

In addition to making me think about nurturing the friendships I have, she’s inspired me to be on the lookout for new friendships. I’m hoping with to make some new mommy friends so I can have play dates for my baby and mommies to commiserate with. But it’s going to take some work, and putting myself out there, but reading Rachel’s stories make it seem a lot less daunting.

Rachel’s got a book coming out in 2012 called MWF Seeking BFF, which will be published by Ballantine. In the meantime, I encourage you to follow her on her journey as she finds a new BFF. Be sure to subscribe to her blog, follow her on Twitter, and friend her on Facebook. I have!

In the meantime, why don’t you tell me about your BFF? I recently reconnected with an old BFF and it’s like the years melted away. It’s too bad we were out of touch for so long, but we picked up right where we left off. I think those are some of the best friendships you can have.

This post was written at the request of Booklicity, which I was happy to do because I’ve been a fan of MWF Seeking BFF since early 2010.

Welcome, Bloggiesta-ers! I hope you’re clearing the cobwebs, catching up on writing posts, and generally blowing the dust of ye olde blogs. Keeping up a blog is a lot of work, so dedicating some time to keeping things tidy and doing things you wouldn’t normally make time for will benefit you in the long run.

Today I’m going to talk to you about email, specifically how to organize and stay on top of your email.

On average, I receive 20 to upwards of 75 emails a day, most of which require a response. If I’m not constantly responding to or taking care of email, it gets out of control. As I write this post, I have 43 emails in my inbox, and by this weekend, I hope to have that to less than 10. My constant goal is to keep my inbox at under 20 emails, but during the week it often gets to 40 or higher.

I know what I do to keep on top of my email, but I also found some great suggestions after doing a little digging. Here’s a list of things I’ve found useful, as well as suggestions I hadn’t thought of:

1. Keep your inbox clean. You don’t have to keep it at empty, but you should be archiving any email you’ve already taken care of. How will you know what emails you need to respond to if you have 1,452 emails in your inbox?
2. Unsubscribe from anything cluttering up your inbox. I know how easy it is to subscribe to this newsletter and that email alert, but unless you really are interested or use whatever coupons you get in your inbox, UNSUBSCRIBE. I receive only a few author newsletters and absolutely no vendor advertising.
3. If you do want to receive adverts in your inbox, make use of your email’s filter. This way you can still receive notices and things but they’ll get sent directly to a special folder, keeping your inbox clean.
4. If an email comes in that can be taken care of in less than a minute or two, do it. If you’re going to have your email open at all times, you might as well take care of all those small, pesky emails that can be responded to quickly, but when stacked one on top of each other become a burden.
5. Decide who is a priority. I have a list in my head of people who, when they email me, get a response immediately. Other people can wait until I’m sitting down and specifically working on email. For example, potential/existing clients are the highest priority I have.
6. Don’t use your inbox as a place to keep tasks or to-do items. I know from experience those things can get lost if you’re dealing with a high volume of email. Instead, make use of a task list, to-do list, sticky notes, or writing on your hand.
7. Set aside time each day to clear out your inbox. While I have my email open most of the day, I send out most of my email in the evenings and on weekends.
8. Turn off Facebook alerts. Those things will clog your inbox faster than you can click to turn off the alerts.
9. Keep a message unread until you can respond to it. I’ve found this keeps me hyper aware of what’s in my inbox and nothing falls to the bottom of the pile.
10. Keep a message in your inbox if you’re waiting on a reply. I won’t archive an email until an issue is resolved. This is slightly different than #6 in that this isn’t a to-do list or task list, but rather items that are waiting on someone else’s action.
11. Don’t respond to email all day. This goes hand in hand with #5. When I’m working at home all day on the weekends, I have my email up the whole time. However, when I’m doing one task and an email comes in, I don’t immediately respond. I wait until I have some time to answer all emails that have come in in the last few hours and answer them at that time. Don’t break your work flow just to answer an email.

With all that said, I highly recommend that you use Gmail over any other email client. Here’s a few reasons why:

1. Threaded emails. If I used Outlook or Yahoo, I’d have 3-5 times more email because each email would be separate. But with threaded emails, all emails with the same subject stay in the same email, so there’s no going back and hunting for an email with the same subject.
2. Archiving. I don’t have to put an email in a particular folder, I just archive it. I still have it and I didn’t have to spend time wondering which folder it should go in to. Also, I can search all my email!
3. The ability to flag particular emails. There’s a bunch of different flag options, from a yellow star to a blue start to a red exclamation point to a green checkmark to a purple question mark. Talk about making it easy to identify important emails!
4. Spam rarely, if ever, leaks into my inbox.
5. You can have any old email accounts forward to your new and shiny gmail account. My email account from this blog goes to my main gmail account, as do about 5 other email addresses I own.

Is there anything I didn’t cover? Feel free to tell us your tips/tricks in the comments section! If you have any questions, I’ll answer them in the comments.

I think most everyone has already done their 2010 list-about-whatever by now. I thought about doing a reading list, or a look back at the year like I did last year, but I have something else in mind.

I want to share with you some of the gems I found in 2010, some of the best books I read, the best moments, the best blog posts (not mine!), etc. Let’s get started, shall we?

Favorite New Blogger

Stand and Deliver – a blog about breastfeeding and home birth that is amazing. Rixa continues to inspire me on a daily basis, and there are aspects of her labor and deliveries that I’ll be trying to emulate.

Seth’s Blog – I’m sure I was subscribed to Seth Godin before 2010, but I really started focusing on him in 2010. He talks the way I think, and has inspired me in many ways. However, I admit I’m leary of his publishing venture and am not sure we quite agree on the state of the publishing industry. I understand his points, but don’t think opening up publishing to anyone who can put words to paper and write a check is a wise thing to do.

Favorite Blog Post

The world’s worst boss. – As I read this post, I was nodding my head, berating myself for being a terrible boss. But then I realized that that’s not the point. The point of the post is about managing yourself, and I did that AWESOMELY in 2010. It’s hard, and sometimes I resented other people with an easier lifestyle, but I learned that I’m a kick ass boss is most aspects.

Loyalty – I’ve thought about this post more than I’ve thought about anything in a long time. As someone who has a side business and is soon-to-be self-employed, this is my singular goal every time I sit down at the computer.

The Recruiter – This post by my friend Melissa cracked me up. I think about it often and it’s already taken a leap into the all-time favorite posts category.

My ‘like’ button is a dirty racist. – What I love about Raych is that she can be incredibly deep but incredibly funny all at the same time. I will take this on as my own goal as soon as I can read more than a book a month.

Personal Accomplishments

WE PAID OFF OUR CREDIT CARD DEBT. Dude, that was the albatross around my neck that I never thought I’d lose. When Dave and I first got married and we combined our finances, I couldn’t believe the amount of debt we’d wracked up as individuals. I’m not talking $5,000 or even $10,000. It was a lot more than that. But it’s gone. We’ve paid it off. In two years. We did something similar to the snowball method, but what really helped keep us on track is the spreadsheet I used to track our debt. I would enter the balances every month in a spreadsheet, and I had a formula that calculated what percentage of our debt we’d paid off. It was incredibly motivating and kept us focused on our goals.

Before we paid off our debt but when I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, we decided to try to get pregnant. We didn’t consider getting pregnant before that because I want to stay home with my kids, at least until they’re in school. With the debt we were carrying, that would have been impossible. So with a little trepidation, I got off the pill. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant because I’d never been pregnant before and Dave doesn’t have any mini-me’s running around. I wanted to have children so badly that I told myself repeatedly that if we couldn’t have kids, then that was okay. If we had kids, we’d go down one road, if we couldn’t have kids, we’d go down another road, neither of which is better than the other. I imagined that if we didn’t have kids, we’d get to travel more, we’d be able to buy a bigger house sooner, we’d have more money to do the various hobbies we have. I knew I’d be disappointed if I couldn’t get pregnant, but I also knew that I didn’t want to be one of those women who’s perpetually unhappy because she can’t make a baby. I didn’t want to be that woman who can’t go to a baby shower, who can’t be happy for her friends as they get pregnant and start their own families.

So I prepped myself with some serious talking to. I also prepped Dave by telling him if we couldn’t get pregnant, that I wanted to get more animals. My dogs are my kids, and if I had my druthers, I’d take in all the stray and abandonded and abused animals I could find.

I was excited for either direction our life took: a life with kids or a life without kids. Either way I would be fulfilled and on a path that brought me contentment.

I’ll never forget the night when, at 9pm, I decided to take a second pregnancy test, on the off chance that the squinter I’d seen earlier that day was actually a positive pregnancy test. Nor will I forget the first phone call I made to a friend to tell her I was pregnant (hi, Becky!).

I got a promotion at work. Not only did I get a promotion, but my bosses couldn’t be happier with my work. They took a leap of faith by giving me this higher position, and I’ve worked my tail off so they wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m so happy they’re thrilled with my work.

Favorite Books

• The Unnamed by Joshua Ferris
• The Passage by Justin Cronin
• Based Upon Availability by Alix Strauss
• Faithful Place by Tana French
• Sounds Like Crazy by Shana Mahaffrey

Favorite Moments

• Telling Dave’s mom I was pregnant.
• The whole day at the Book Blogger Convention.
• Reconnecting with two old friends, Christie and Kati.
• Hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

I won’t say that 2011 has big shoes to fill, but 2010 wasn’t too shabby.

Everyone’s heard of a bucket list: things you want to do before you die. But that’s so morbid. Somehow I stumbled across Mighty Girl’s Mighty Summit, which is “an annual retreat structured around the idea of creating a better life. We’re asking all of our attendees to draw up Mighty Lists — lists of about 100 things they’d like to do in their lifetimes — and share them with each other over the course of the weekend. Too often we move forward in our daily lives without making time for our passions. Mighty Summit is about establishing life goals, reflecting, relaxing, and networking with others doing the same.”

I was inspired! One hundred things I’d like to do in my lifetime? YES! One hundred things to do before I die? Hrm. Well, since I procrastinate, things could get kind of interesting in my 90′s.

I’ll be applying to go to the Mighty Summit for 2011 (I mean, it’s held WHERE I LIVE. Either I’m meant to go or that’s just a cool coincidence.), but in the meantime I also wanted a Mighty List. Things that I always think, I’d love to do that, or, That’d be cool! You know. That stuff.

So here’s my list. I’m not at 100 things yet, but I’m getting there. I’ll add to this as I think of things. Maybe one day I’ll even display it like this.

1. Have at least 2 children (1 down, 1 to go!)
2. Help a child that’s not mine learn to read
3. Rescue an abandoned dog
4. Visit France
5. Visit Italy
6. Become proficient enough in French to carry on a conversation (again)
7. Visit 100 wineries in Sonoma County
8. Sew a quilt
9. Learn to photograph only in manual
10. Learn to pick a lock
11. Go camping with my family
12. Leave 100 inspirational notes around my city
13. See a firefly in real life
14. Do a pinup and boudoir session with Ambitious Misfit Photography (inspired by this session)
15. Create a yearly tradition of a Girls Weekend
16. Buy an original piece of art (in addition to the one I already have)
17. Buy a house
18. Collect a full set of vintage dishware that I love
19. Go on a hot air balloon ride
20. Learn how to shoot a gun
21. Attend a Super Bowl or a World Series game
22. Earn a black belt in Karate
23. Plant daffodils in a field
24. Go swing dancing again
25. Attend the MightySummit
26. Volunteer in a classroom
27. Donate a fixed monthly amount to a charity for one year
28. Send a birthday card to every friend whose birthday I know about for one year
29. Learn how to repair an old watch/clock
30. Visit all 50 states (see below for progress)
31. Win a poker tournament
32. Have a room that only has books in it
33. Buy something someone needs anonymously
34. Leave a server a $100 tip
35. Own a sapphire
36. Have a snowball fight
37. Send a card to 10 friends for no reason
38. Go on a horseback ride
39. Grow my own garlic
40. Befriend a quilter I admire
41. Go parasailing (again)
42. Climb a mountain (Mt. Whitney)
43. Finish electrolysis
44. Learn to do the splits
45. Experience a white Christmas
46. Make a mosaic
47. Earn enough money to need a financial planner
48. Eat beignets in New Orleans
49. Learn how to do stained glass
50. Participate in a watermelon seed spitting contest
51. Learn how to do blown glass

Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Georgia
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
Washington DC
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming

What’s on your Mighty List?