Ten things I want to teach my son so he can become a man.
Ethan turned one on April 12th. I have a letter for him that I need to finish, but in the meantime I’ve compiled 10 things that I want to focus on over the next 18+ years. I want to raise a man. I don’t believe you’re a man just because you’re male, just as I don’t think a female is automatically a lady. These are some ways I’ll be teaching my son to be a man.
- Open the door for people. This is your chance to offer what will, for some people, be the only kindness they experience all day.
- Stand up to bullies. You’ll be surprised that the majority of them will immediately back down.
- Never stop reading. When you stop reading, you stop learning.
- When you think nice thoughts about people, let them know.
- Handle failure with graciousness on the outside, and kindness on the inside. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
- Be generous with your time and money. Both, even in small increments, are worth more to other people than they are to you.
- Talk kindly to yourself. Don’t be harder on yourself than your parents or spouse would be.
- Be curious, not furious. Instead of being frustrated or angry or annoyed as to why someone did something, try to figure out why they did it.
- Decide which hill you want to die on. Most battles, whether with family, friends, employers, employees, or strangers, are not worth fighting.
- Love hard.
April 23rd, 2012 at 9:59 pm
Love it. Such wonderful advice.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 10:09 pm
I love this. And you. Period.
<3
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April 24th, 2012 at 4:32 am
Excellent goals. On a more basic level,I taught my kids to look people in the eye when they speak to them.
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April 24th, 2012 at 5:05 am
How can that sweet baby be a year old already? I know he’ll have wonderful guidance.
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April 24th, 2012 at 5:25 am
I love this! I did something similar with my boys. I created a journal for each of them, starting the day I found out I was expecting. My oldest is nearing the age that I’ll start sharing bits and pieces of the messages I wanted to share with him. I truly look forward to reliving my pregnancy, with them!
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April 24th, 2012 at 6:51 am
All of these are great pieces of advice, but I especially like number 7. So many people (including myself) are needlessly hard on themselves. At 29, I’m trying to learn how to be kind to myself and wish I had started doing so years ago!
Great list, Trish. With you as a mom, I can’t see how Ethan will grow up to be anything short of a wonderful man!
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April 24th, 2012 at 8:19 am
Beautiful, truly beautiful.
Happy birthday, E-man!
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April 24th, 2012 at 8:42 am
You need to frame these and send them out to all the new moms out there. These are seriously good pieces of advice, and I wish that someone had imparted this wisdom to me when I became a mom. I especially like number 4.
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April 24th, 2012 at 10:17 am
Now, if you add a little one in there about patience in the shopping mall, he will make the perfect husband! I can’t think of a better gift to your child than this advice.
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April 24th, 2012 at 10:55 am
Awww, I love this- it’s really sweet. And, I love that all ten things are things that are important for little girls to learn too.
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April 24th, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Happy birthday Ethan! What wonderful life lessons to want to impart to your son!
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April 24th, 2012 at 5:28 pm
those are all perfect goals and happy Birthday to your beautiful son
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April 24th, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Powerful thoughts on raising boys. I’ve got a 14 tear-old. This is going up on the wall in our house. Ethan is going to be a DUDE.
I wrote a book about fathers and sons that is nowhere near as insightful. OK maybe close.
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April 24th, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Touching, and true. I’ll be sending your list to friends who have recently become parents. THANKS.
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April 24th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Ahhhh! All such great,loving desires. My baby is 20 yrs. old. And there is isn’t anything about the man I would change. Good luck. The fact that you have these wishes for him is a very, very good start.
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April 25th, 2012 at 2:49 pm
My son is now 25. I can proudly say that I raised him with most of these, and he has turned into a wonderful and loving man. Although he has a problem with #7 and I am still trying to work on it with him. Good Luck on your goal, I hope your young man turns out as wonderful as mine did.
Blessings of Peace
Char
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April 25th, 2012 at 5:37 pm
I love your teaching points. I think I will discuss them with my son tonight (he is 10). He does a lot of these things right now, but could work on some!!! Also, what a great discussion we can have! Thanks for the list. Now I have to come with something similar for my daughters!
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April 25th, 2012 at 7:00 pm
This is gorgeous. Good luck teaching your son to be a man. We need more men in this world. Happy birthday to Ethan!
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April 26th, 2012 at 3:46 pm
We should all learn these lessons, the earlier in life the better. How wonderful to have parents who know what is important!
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April 27th, 2012 at 5:09 am
{new follower here}
This is a really nicely laid out list of things that you want your son to know. From a mother’s perspective I completely agree with everything you have lifted. Thank you for sharing.
{http://www.justonemorechapter.net}
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April 27th, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I love this list. Your son is very lucky to have such a wonderful mommy!
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April 28th, 2012 at 8:06 am
What a wonderful list. You’re going to be an amazing mom!
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April 29th, 2012 at 10:19 am
A beautiful list. Happy birthday, Ethan!
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May 1st, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Excellent list! #1 is something I have been teaching all three of my kids since they were little and yet it still brings a little tear to my eye every time I see them do it. My greatest goal as a parent has always been to raise good people, who are productive and give at least as much as they get.
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May 2nd, 2012 at 5:36 am
This is a great list, Trish! I have an 8 year-old son and I would want to teach him the same things, hoping he will turn out to be a fine young man. I was so proud when he came home one day and told me he helped a girl who was being bullied by a group of girls.
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May 2nd, 2012 at 10:23 am
Happy Birthday! This is a great list. I may have to borrow it!
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May 2nd, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Awesome list! I can’t believe he’s one and my little guy turns one in a few weeks. Where does the time go?
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May 7th, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Wow – amazing advice. Will certainly be passing it on. Thanks for sharing.
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May 9th, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I love your list and your collage of photos of Ethan. Will you save this list for him and present it to him when he is older?
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May 9th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
I hadn’t thought that far ahead! I guess I will now that you’ve made me think about it.
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May 20th, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Wonderful advice! You should certainly add these to the letter you were planning!
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May 23rd, 2012 at 6:43 pm
{i’m following your blog}
I am leaving this note to let you know that I am following you. If you aren’t already following me can you please return the favor and leave a comment on my most recent entry. Please and thank you!
{http://www.justonemorechapter.net}
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May 24th, 2012 at 4:23 am
I love your list. Such kind hearted things to teach a young boy.
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May 31st, 2012 at 9:25 pm
A beautiful post. My babies are now 41, 39 and 36. I taught them to question authority. If I had it to do over again, I might add, “but have the sense to do it quietly.” Or, perhaps, I would do it exactly the same all over again.
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June 11th, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Thank you, so simple, yet so true.
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June 15th, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Amazing list! You’re going to be an amazing parent. Show him this film when he’s older a little heavy, but a really important one with a lot of lessons to be learned. http://www.metropolismovie.co.uk/
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June 19th, 2012 at 11:29 am
You have one very lucky little boy! I need to pass on such advice to my own boys, but before I do, I should read them over again to myself. That last one, especially, is a tough lesson to learn in life. It’s not only about picking your battles, but believing in the things you want to fight for. Thank you for this!!
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June 27th, 2012 at 6:38 am
Your list pretty much sums up what every man should be.
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July 13th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I have a granddaughter – can we do an arrange marriage. You son will be wonderful and that is the kind of guy I want for her!
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