I’ve talked previously about my food issues — how I don’t like any of it to touch. Well, my friend Becky (hi, Becky!) sent me an excerpt from an article she read about Groucho Marx:

Because of the greasy food served all slopped together in the boarding houses, in his later years Groucho always insisted he be served his food in separate dishes. Each main course, vegetable, salad, potato, whatever, was always served alone, in its own dish. “I’m rich enough to eat my food in separate dishes,” he would explain. Groucho hated mixed vegetables, calling them “trick vegetables.”

And that will be my line from now until the day I die. “I’m rich enough to eat my food in separate dishes.” I might not be able to afford a new house or an iPad or new eyeglass frames (at the same time that I’m buying prescription sunglasses), but at least I have enough money to eat my food in separate dishes.

I’m just curious: How do you think Oreos should be eaten?

I have definite ideas on this one.

FIRST OF ALL, Double Stuf Oreos are the best and only Oreos, as far as I’m concerned.

So once you’ve got a package of Double Stuf Oreos:

• Pull it apart so that one side has none of the center (this does not involve twisting)
• Eat the side with no center
• Eat a little bit of the center (must use your teeth…the top teeth)
• Then pop this other side of the Oreo (the one you just ate part of the center from) in your mouth.

Unless you freeze your Oreos, in which case you just have to bite into it.

Milk and Oreos? No.

Oreos and Pepsi? YES.

Here’s a poll, and then you can leave a comment if you’d like to expand on your ‘pinion.

[polldaddy poll=1214590]

Photo courtesy of Amazon.com.  

Frankly, I’m not one for “things outside the box”. I like to get the same thing every time. Boring? Perhaps. But I like it.

I did venture out, though, to try Orville Redenbacher’s Natural Buttery Salt & Cracked Pepper. I have been known (read: I do this fairly regularly) to eat microwave popcorn for lunch. It’s quick, easy, cheap, tasty…what more could a girl ask for? I do have certain brands I like (usually the lite butter ones…). But I read a review of microwave popcorn and they had rave reviews for this popcorn that had pepper on it.

So one day I was in the store and I thought, hey, why not? I bought a box, and here’s my review.

The popcorn comes in a “snack” size. It’s about half of a regular bag of popcorn. Good for me when I’m snacking at work.

It’s not too buttery or salty. I prefer my popcorn with less butter and salt than most people, and if I was manufacturing this, I would probably put even less butter and salt on this popcorn. But it’s okay.

The pepper is…interesting. The review said people couldn’t stop eating it. I don’t know if that’s quite the case. It’s okay. It’s not great, it’s not awful. I suppose it you were a big fan of pepper, this would be your thing. But I’m not, so it’s not my thing.

I would give this popcorn…. 2 diamonds (out of 5).

I’m a sugar connoisseur. Or at least I like to think I am. I’ve been eating sugar in large quantities ever since I was 5 years old. It’s innate, it’s who I am (and considering how much of it I can eat…it’s what I am, too). Me and sugar are one. I’m sure you’re doubtful, so let me tell you why I think I’m so good.

I can tell the difference between C&H granulated sugar and the Safeway brand (there IS a difference).

I can tell the difference between jelly bellies and the wanna-be jelly bellies.

I could tell, just by looking, that someone different had baked the donuts at my favorite donut place one day (turns out it had been sold to new owners, and I could tell right away something wasn’t right).

I can tell the difference between brands of candy corn (I love candy corn…but only some brands will I buy).

I do not use canned frosting. It’s awful. I can see it used from a mile away.

I know it’s not a resume, per se, but it gives you an idea of my…pickiness. I won’t eat just any candy.

That being said, I think I’m very qualified to say that these are truly the best peanut butter cups ever. Don’t let the packaging fool you (this is the old packaging…the new packaging is even worse).

If, when you eat one of these, the heavens don’t open up and a white dove doesn’t flutter down, then forget about them. By all means, forget about them. Leave them for the rest of us, who hear angels sing when we eat them.

Here’s what’s so good about them and what makes them so much better than Reese’s. The peanut butter is creamier. It might be a small thing, but it makes a big difference. Try using Safeway’s sugar rather than C&H. If you’re a true connoisseur, you’ll notice a difference.

Interestingly enough, WalMart came out with these first, and then Safeway copied WalMart. Seeing as how Safeway is closer to me than WalMart, I buy them at Safeway, but they are identical to each other and interchangeable. You can buy either and be just fine.

But be sure to tell me what you think.