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My Books Are Multiplying

It happens at night.

It happens when I’m not looking.

I go to bed, and the next morning, there’s a small stack of books on the floor near a bookcase that I don’t remember from the night before. But that’s okay, because it’s a small stack! Two or three extra books is no problem.

Until.

A few days later when I wake up and the stack has 10 books in it. WHERE did these books come from? Yes, I went to a book signing and brought home a new book, but it was only ONE!

Books are piling up in front of books that are lined up on bookshelves. Books are finding homes on top of any flat surface: the desk, hope chest, coffee table, and of course, the floor.

I accept very few books for review any more; only books I’m dying to read. So how is it possible that I’m still bringing in more books than I can read per month? Well, I think I’ve figured it out.

My books are having sex and having illegitimate baby books. These books are then having more baby books and so it goes. I really can’t find any other explanation.

| Tags: 52 comments »

52 Responses to “My Books Are Multiplying”

  1. Natasha @ Maw Books

    Well, if that’s the case then what’s going on at your house is going on at mine.

    [Reply]

  2. SuziQoregon

    Oh my goodness – this explains so much. I thought that maybe my missing socks were being transmogifried into books by the dryer somehow, but the numbers didn’t match up. So glad you figured out what’s causing this.

    😉

    [Reply]

  3. Jeanne

    How lucky! I have to go out and search for the things!

    [Reply]

  4. Melissa

    Seriously, rabbits don’t have ANYTHING on the capacity of the TBR pile to reproduce.

    [Reply]

  5. Beth F

    I was going to try separating my books: girl books in one room and boy books in another. Maybe that will stop them from multiplying.

    [Reply]

    trish Reply:

    LOL. That’s a good idea! Or maybe I should start handing out condoms? 😉

    [Reply]

  6. Robin of My Two Blessings

    Is that what’s been happening? I was wondering why my stacks seem to be getting out of control. 🙂

    [Reply]

  7. Sheri

    Dude! You’ve totally nailed it! That’s FOR SURE what’s going on! I knew it.

    Trish, if you see my bookshelves that I bought less than a year ago, you’d laugh at me! I’ve both them double rowed and then squeezing some top of the two rows. I need another bookshelf, but have no idea where to put it in my small house.

    This year, I stopped accepting most “free books.” Then, I got nearly all caught up, felt lonely and went shopping, searched for review books, and entered contests. Now, I’m all set for the summer!

    sheri

    [Reply]

  8. Shelly Burns

    OMG! You’ve been to my house…LOL!!!

    [Reply]

  9. Jen - Devourer of Books

    I wonder if those Mylar covers would work as book condoms? Not only are the books in my HOUSE producing little book bastards, the books on my holds list at the library are doing the same thing. I’ll have 2 or 3 books to pick up, them BAM! 10. We clearly need more effective sex ed for our books, Trish.

    [Reply]

  10. Meghan

    You have made everything so clear! Now, where can I find someone willing to neuter my books? 😉

    [Reply]

  11. Kathy

    Hey, I think my books are doing the same thing! When you figure out how to stop it, let us know!

    [Reply]

  12. Bart's Bookshelf

    It’s the little blighters that reproduce, asexually, that you really need to worry about.

    [Reply]

  13. Teresa

    Ha! So, so true. But, alas, I’m not sure if there’s anything to be done to stop them. It’s like the dinos in Jurassic Park–“nature finds a way”–and so do our books.

    [Reply]

  14. Suko

    Mystery solved! But how did you find out? Was there a rustling of pages at night, or a bit of bookish afternoon delight? ; )

    [Reply]

  15. Florinda

    Since I’ve heard that clothes hangers have the same ability to multiply, the moral of the story is “don’t put your books in your closet.” I shudder to think of what could result…

    But at least hangers usually stay in the closet. Books are indiscriminate – they’ll do it anywhere. 🙂

    [Reply]

  16. Ti

    I have a two story house, and there is a stack of books on the first floor landing that has grown quite a bit in the last few days. I stick them there when the mail comes in and then shelve them on the weekend but man… I noticed this morning that the stack is huge (like 25 books).

    And my books are still in the packages so they multiply via immaculate conception apparently. LOL.

    [Reply]

  17. Jeane

    Ha ha. I need to get some population control of the books in my house, too! You should see the piles and shelves overwhelming my bedroom.

    [Reply]

  18. Kiki

    Its the knock on the door form the UPS man/mail man bearing gifts everyday that’s my ruin!

    A few weeks ago one of the “bookshelves” my husband crafted for my extensive book collection just let loose and dumped a couple of hundred books on our bedroom floor! No one was home at the time… so did the books falling make a noise if no one was the to hear them I wonder?

    Of course, the shelf is not yet repaired and the books are all now piled ever so neatly (and precariously) in the hallway!

    I can never part with my books!

    [Reply]

  19. Diane

    Do you think this only happens to us bloggers? LOL Same problem here, in fact I just went to a library book sale and came home with almost 20 more (that is not a complaint) 🙂

    [Reply]

  20. lesley

    hrmmmm. are the new baby books new books that no one has ever heard of? cause if they are you could publish and make a bundle 🙂

    [Reply]

  21. Jennsbookshelf

    The exact thing is happening to me! Have seriously contemplated taking over my hubby’s closet and converting it into a built-in bookshelf!

    I don’t know what to do with them all–I’m sending out 10-12 books a week. They seem to multiply faster when I’m actively trying to get rid of them!

    [Reply]

  22. Staci

    Well, some of your illegitimate book babies have come knocking on my door and gotten a hold of my books and had their way with them!!!

    [Reply]

  23. softdrink

    I shudder to think what’s going on in my house while I’m on vacation. You just can’t trust books these days.

    [Reply]

  24. Monique

    This made my night. Very funny, post and comments.

    [Reply]

  25. Amy @ My Friend Amy

    Oh yes. The books have taken over my life.

    But seriously, it’s a good problem to have!

    [Reply]

  26. Laura/BookingIt

    This post (and the comments) have been such fun.

    I have noticed my bookshelf that hasn’t been touched for years hasn’t changed. The bookshelves where I put books I’m finished with and want to keep only grow on a minor scale. It is the TBR piles that keep multiplying. Is the correlation with their stage of life or their physical position?

    [Reply]

  27. Lenore

    Before I left for BEA, I had my book population under control. Then I am gone for a week and, let’s just say, when the cat’s away, the mice will play, because now the little buggers are EVERYWHERE!

    [Reply]

  28. Nicole

    I don’t think mine have sex per se. They might be like earthworms. You open them and then you have two. I think they regenerate or something. Or maybe one of those single-celled creatures that divide when they reproduce. Whatever they are doing I have at minimum 50 more books than I did a week ago.

    [Reply]

  29. Megan

    Aha! I knew it must be something like that. I mean, there’s no way that I would let my book collection swell to such mind-blowing numbers, so they obviously must be taking care of that all on their own. I mean, I had about 10 books on my desk all week, and then I went out last night, and when I came back there were at least twice that! They’re like rabits…wait, actually much *worse* than rabbits!

    [Reply]

  30. Ruth @ Bookish Ruth

    Trish, I think your books and my books are conspiring together. *points to box of books that inexplicably showed up on her doorstep this morning as proof*

    [Reply]

  31. Yvette Kelly

    Thank goodness for this post.I have been worrying that my house was getting smaller NOW i know its my books having booklets.

    [Reply]

    Jessica Reply:

    Booklets!!!

    Bwa-hahahahaha!

    [Reply]

  32. Kirsten

    My books do the dirty all. the. TIME.
    Then, they go shoe shopping, which gets me in even MORE trouble.

    Just added you to my blogroll; love your stuff 🙂

    [Reply]

  33. Rebecca Cox

    I’m with you!! 6 months ago, I bought 3 really cute wicker suitcases (small) that hold about 20 books each. I stacked them in front of our bedroom fireplace and put my TBR pile inside. There was still one completely empty. Then I joined PBS to trade books as I read them. Now, you can’t even find the fireplace for all the books stacked around the stack of wicker suitcases!! And, I have mailed out the exact same number of books that I have received from the swap. So, they have to be having babies…….My DH just shakes his head.

    [Reply]

  34. BOOKS AND MOVIES » Bookish links for Saturday, June 6, 2009

    […] Trish at Hey Lady! is convinced her books are multiplying behind her back. Funny post. Bookmark […]

  35. Debbie

    LOL. I think my books multiply and then play hide and seek. I started cleaning today and books are popping up in the most random places.

    [Reply]

  36. Susan @ Reading Upside Down

    My books have multiplied all over the house – the dining room, bedroom, lougeroom, entryhall. I think that there may even be a few in the kitchen.

    It is quite obvious that books have no self-control at all!

    [Reply]

  37. Lori Barnes

    I went to the doctor about that same problem he said it was UBC
    (Uncontrolable, Book, Collecting) he said most people do this out of fear of not being able to pick out there next book to read or becoming imobil and can’t get to the bookstore. LoL!!! My husband says it’s just insaneness!!! I explained how they done have a pill for book collecting so he’s just have to bear with it and be understanding.

    [Reply]

  38. Luanne

    LOL! Mine are doing it on the kitchen table!

    [Reply]

  39. gwendolyn b.

    Sounds like the premise of a good horror story to me!

    [Reply]

  40. S. Krishna

    So THAT’s why no matter how much I read, the number of books I have to read just keep increasing!

    [Reply]

  41. Kay

    LOL! That’s SO funny!
    I’ve often said, too, that my books are multiplying when I’m not looking. You are right, it’s the only sane explanation!
    I don’t think there’s a solution for that. But we can’t really complain, can we?

    [Reply]

  42. jackie

    So that’s what’s happening, hmmmmm. I think you need to take some personal responsibility for your role in causing the book reproduction going on in our homes…….some of these books wouldn’t be showing up if it weren’t for you and your reviews, I’m just saying.

    [Reply]

  43. melanie

    Well, that prude the Kindle should put an end to all that book nookie. 🙂

    [Reply]

  44. Rebecca

    I have been having this problem for months now myself. Books are stacked up everywhere! When did I get 3 extra boxes of books packed away? I thought it was 2. Where did that other box come from? Why don’t these books all fit on my bookshelf? Are they getting bigger, wider, taller? Hmmm….At least the conspiracy is not only at my house.

    [Reply]

  45. Book Addiction: We Might Really Have A Problem People | Linus's Blanket

    […] Use of more than was intended- “Addict cannot keep to a shopping list or a budget” How many times have I gone into a book store looking for one thing and come out with ten others! And maybe not even with the books I went there to get. I also purged my books a couple of years ago and said I wasn’t going to buy anymore until I had read my entire library.  I started blogging about those books and somehow acquired 200 more in less than a year. I’m with Trish.  I think my books are having sex with each other. […]

  46. Kimberly

    Oh my word you’re a dork. So hilarious.

    [Reply]

  47. zibilee

    Sounds like the same thing is happening over at my house! I never seem to notice that the book problem is multiplying, but it is a bit out of control.

    [Reply]

  48. Jessica

    Well, what do you expect? They do spend all their time between the covers!

    [Reply]

  49. Jessica

    I cant set my books down. Ever. Even if they are library books, they multiply when I am not looking. Which is kind of ok, just dont tell my husband.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..WW: The Cutest Band Nerd in Town =-.

    [Reply]

  50. Brenda Copeland

    I wonder … if two hardcover books get together do they give birth to a paperback?

    [Reply]

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